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Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor? v.7

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor? v. 7
It is undeniable that every nation faces the poverty problem at some point in its history and they all have their own specific ways in addressing the issue. Poverty is a pressing issue in many parts of the world and effective steps are quite important to solve this problem. The following essay will discuss some of the reasons that lie beneath the issue and some of the solutions to resolve it. For a number of reasons, poverty has become an issue in many countries in the world. Firstly, some countries have a large population of poor people due to the poor performance of the governments. For example, under the dictatorial presidentship, many people are facing starvation due to the fact they have a greedy leader who concentrates more on the personal gains than people's betterment. Secondly, certain countries are facing poverty problem due to the unfavourable geographical areas. For instance, certain countries in Africa are facing starvation problem due to the drought issue. Thirdly, some nations have poverty-stricken people in their area because many of these people are lazy and not interesting in working. Some people in developed countries are given allowance from the governments, and they misuse the fund.   Instead of using the money to buy basic needs and searching for jobs, many of them just buy drugs and get drunk. This causes destitution for many people and they cannot come above the poverty line. Lack of natural resources, poor education and lack of trade facility are three major reasons many Asian countries are still poor. There are several things that United Nations and governments could do to resolve the poverty  problem globally.   One of them is that United Nations should give more attention to countries where political instability is the main reason people starve every day. The UN must make intense diplomatic negotiation to reunite people and make them into a free democratic country. As for countries that have unfavourable landscape, the UN could cooperate with local governments in building dams and other facilities. With the existence of UN provided facilities, it is hoped that many countries could manage their irrigation, natural resources and manpower  to improve their condition. Lastly, for people who are idle and become alcoholic, the allowance for them should be stopped. Instead of giving them the money, it could be allocated for treating their addiction and for creating job opportunities for them. In conclusion, many countries have poverty issue, as they have corrupted government, no natural resources, or adverse geographical condition. There are several things that the UN and governments could do to resolve the issue, but the most important one is to change the political condition and help them utilise their own resources.
It is undeniable that every
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nation
faces the
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poverty
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problem
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point in its
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
history and
they all have their
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own
specific ways in addressing the
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issue
.
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Poverty
is a pressing
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issue
in
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many
parts of the world and effective steps are quite
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important
to solve this
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problem
. The following essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
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reasons
that lie beneath the
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issue
and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
solutions to resolve it.

For a number of
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reasons
,
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poverty
has become an
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issue
in
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many
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countries
in the world.
Firstly
,
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some
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countries
have a large population of poor
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people
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due
to the poor performance of the
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governments
.
For example
, under the dictatorial
Possible spelling mistake found.
presidentship
,
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many
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people
are facing starvation
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due
to the fact they have a greedy leader who concentrates more on the personal gains than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's betterment.
Secondly
, certain
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countries
are facing
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poverty
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problem
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due
to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
geographical areas.
For instance
, certain
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countries
in Africa are facing starvation
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problem
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due
to the drought
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issue
.
Thirdly
,
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some
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nations
have poverty-stricken
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people
in their area
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because
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many
of these
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people
are lazy and not interesting in working.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
in developed
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countries
are
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given
allowance from the
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governments
, and they misuse the fund.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Instead
of using the money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
basic needs and searching for jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
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just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
drugs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
drunk. This causes destitution for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they cannot
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come
above the
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poverty
line. Lack of natural resources, poor education and lack of trade facility are three major
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reasons
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many
Asian
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countries
are
still
poor.

There are several things that United
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Nations
and
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governments
could do to resolve the poverty
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
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problem
globally.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
One of them is that United
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Nations
should give more attention to
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countries
where political instability is the main
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reason
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people
starve every day. The UN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
intense diplomatic negotiation to reunite
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people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them into a free democratic
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country
. As for
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countries
that have
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
landscape, the UN could cooperate with local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in building dams and other facilities. With the existence of UN provided facilities, it
is hoped
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could manage their irrigation, natural resources and manpower
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their condition.
Lastly
, for
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people
who are idle and become alcoholic, the allowance for them should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
Instead
of giving them the money, it could
be allocated
for treating their addiction and for creating job opportunities for them.

In conclusion
,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
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poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, as they have corrupted
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government
, no natural resources, or adverse geographical condition. There are several things that the UN and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could do to resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
,
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but
the most
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important
one is to
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change
the political condition and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
resources.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
452 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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