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Learning about the past has no value for those who live in the present. v.1

Learning about the past has no value for those who live in the present. v. 1
Some people believe that learning historical events bring no benefits for those who live in the current period. I strongly disagree with the opinion, as I believe that learning about the past has many benefits for every individual and the society as well, and the following essay will discuss it in details. To begin with, by studying history, people could learn about humanity and how to maintain world peace. From learning about world war one, world war two and other wars, people could learn that war was full of crime and violence. A lot of soldiers and innocent civilians became victims and there were some areas which have been permanently damaged due to wars such as Nagasaki and Hiroshima. By studying about these horrifying events, it is hoped that people all over the world will realise the cruelties of war and should maintain world peace. Studying about past events also has some positive effects on human's health as well. By learning about the lifestyle of our ancestors such as how they hunt, plant seeds and ate, the scientist could predict some genetic diseases that modern people are facing. Some diseases might be genetically carried from the blood of our ancestors due to their nomadic lifestyles, and people could some research on how to cure these diseases. In conclusion, it is true that several people think that studying the past has no beneficial outcome to the modern people. I personally do not agree with the statement as I believe that learning about the past events has many benefits for human beings, such as in the politic, medical or economic areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
bring no benefits for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
period. I
strongly
disagree with the opinion, as I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for every individual and the society
as well
, and the following essay will discuss it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by studying history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could learn about humanity and how to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
one,
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world
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war
two and other
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wars
,
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people
could learn that
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war
was full of crime and violence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
soldiers and innocent civilians became victims and there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas which have been
permanently
damaged due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
such as Nagasaki and Hiroshima. By studying about these horrifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, it
is hoped
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the cruelties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
and should maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace.

Studying about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on human's health
as well
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the lifestyle of our ancestors such as how they hunt, plant seeds and ate, the scientist could predict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
genetic diseases that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
diseases might be
genetically
carried from the blood of our ancestors due to their nomadic lifestyles, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research on how to cure these diseases.

In conclusion
, it is true that several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that studying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
has no beneficial outcome to the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
personally
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for human beings, such as in the politic, medical or economic areas.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Learning about the past has no value for those who live in the present. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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