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Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. v. 8
Many think that most of the significant issues of the environment nowadays can be solved by the technology. In my opinion, I believe that technology will not help, but rather, affect the surroundings negatively. A good reason as to why technology will not be helpful in solving the important environmental problems is that it induces more air pollution. This is due to the fact that the technological devices that people use now have a more complex manufacturing process; mostly are harmful to the environment. For instance, the process of making cell phones involve burning and heating of certain materials, which emits unhealthy gas. This gas goes up to the ozone layer, makes it thinner, and thus creates more damaging effects to the earth's surface. Another point to consider is that technology today is lowering the number of natural resources of the world, causing imbalances in nature. Most of the gadgets today are made out of metal and iron, collected from the deep core of the planet. Mining, for example, is one of the processes in which these minerals are collected and is causing soil erosion to some mainlands. This then causes catastrophes such as earthquakes and landslides, taking the lives of people and animals living in the area; a devastating effect that countries do not anticipate. In conclusion, technology would not be able to solve the main environmental issues today as it may bring more negative effects such as poor air conditions and diminishing natural resources. Countries, therefore, should continue searching for available solutions to improve the environment's condition, especially for the future generations to come.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that most of the significant issues of the environment nowadays can
be solved
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
, affect the surroundings
negatively
.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason as to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will not be helpful in solving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
environmental problems is that it induces more air pollution.
This is due to the fact that
the technological devices that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a more complex manufacturing process;
mostly
are harmful to the environment.
For instance
, the process of making cell phones involve burning and heating of certain materials, which emits unhealthy gas. This gas goes up to the ozone layer,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it thinner, and
thus
creates more damaging effects to the earth's surface.

Another point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is lowering the number of natural resources of the world, causing imbalances in nature. Most of the gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are made
out of metal and iron, collected from the deep core of the planet. Mining,
for example
, is one of the processes in which these minerals
are collected
and is causing soil erosion to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mainlands. This then causes catastrophes such as earthquakes and landslides, taking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and animals living in the area; a devastating effect that countries do not anticipate.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
would not be able to solve the main environmental issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
as it may bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects such as poor air conditions and diminishing natural resources. Countries,
therefore
, should continue searching for available solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the environment's condition,
especially
for the future generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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