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Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. v. 1
It is often argued by some that technology is providing various solutions for major environmental issues, while others believe that the invention of new devices is having a negative impact on the environment. I completely agree with the first opinion where I personally think that technology is solving serious problems the global is currently encountering. Firstly, technology forced a world based on papers to go digital by adapting to technology. In other words, most companies and individuals are using fewer papers due to the usage of computers, laptops and smart phones, where businesses are even sending their own bills, receipts and personal documents by email to save both money and time. In addition, some publishing agencies stopped printing hard copies because their target market find it more convenient to read the news and articles online. Thus, the advanced new tools is beneficial for the nature where less trees and being cut. Secondly, the invention of electrical cars is surely advantageous and helpful is solving an international problem called air pollution. To illustrate, it is commonly know that exhaust fume is no doubt one of the main reasons for air pollution. Therefore using electrical cars will not only decrease gradually the level of air pollution but also will reduce enormously the diseases associated with low air quality such as lung cancer. This fact is evidenced by the good quality of air in countries where government encourages the usage of electrical cars and cycling. In conclusion, I believe that the technological impact on the environment is positive on both air and nature aspects.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is providing various solutions for major environmental issues, while others believe that the invention of new devices is having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the environment. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
opinion where I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is solving serious problems the global is
currently
encountering.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
forced a world based on papers to go digital by adapting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
In other words
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and individuals are using fewer papers due to the usage of computers, laptops and smart phones, where businesses are even sending their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bills, receipts and personal documents by email to save both money and time.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
publishing agencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
printing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their target market find it more convenient to read the news and articles online.
Thus
, the advanced new tools is beneficial for the nature where
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun trees is countable.
less
trees and being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
.

Secondly
, the invention of electrical cars is
surely
advantageous and helpful is solving an international problem called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. To illustrate, it is
commonly
Consider using a past participle here: "known".
know
that exhaust fume is no doubt one of the main reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
using electrical cars will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decrease
gradually
the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
enormously
the diseases associated with low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality such as lung cancer. This fact
is evidenced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
in countries where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
encourages the usage of electrical cars and cycling.

In conclusion
, I believe that the technological impact on the environment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and nature aspects.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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