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Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. v. 4
Ever since the Industrial revolution started, the World is progressing ahead rapidly with new Product Inventions, Mass productions, Tech Innovations and so on. As a by-product, Mother Nature is being polluted. It is often argued by some people that the same Technology what we have today has the ability to solve the Environmental issues too. As per a saying, drop by drop creates the Ocean, relating to this topic, unless we contribute something today and daily, the issues cannot be resolved. First, with the increase of numerous Industries and latest Technologies, We humans in order to reduce the burden and to improve the comfort levels, knowingly or unknowingly disrupting the Nature around us in various ways. Among those the significant damage is caused to Air, the excessive usage of vehicles, burning fields, smoke expelled from the Industries are contaminating the air very badly. For Example, recent times in the city of Delhi, Air pollution are at alarming levels, People even can't properly breathe. At Present, there is no such Technology which can control the Air Pollution in Delhi. In the same way, Ocean Contamination is one of the major Environmental Issues, a strong contributor to the Marine Pollution is Plastic. Sea living beings, considering the synthetic materials as eatables, are consuming the Plastic. We often find the instances where the large Fish, Turtles stomach are filled with the Fibre debris, this may become the serious cause for the Marine life extinction. The Technology we have today can only remove the waste out of the Oceans, but we cannot eradicate the problem as a whole. To Conclude, by considering the above examples in my view, I contradict with the statement and strongly believe that Humans should start contributing some efforts from their end every day, instead of waiting for some technology to come up and resolve the Nature's Issues.
Ever since the Industrial revolution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, the World is progressing ahead
rapidly
with new Product Inventions, Mass productions, Tech Innovations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As a by-product, Mother Nature is
being polluted
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
what we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
has the ability to solve the Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
too. As per a saying, drop by drop creates the Ocean, relating to this topic, unless we contribute something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and daily, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
cannot
be resolved
.

First
, with the increase of numerous Industries and latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technologies
, We humans in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the comfort levels,
knowingly
or
unknowingly
disrupting the Nature around us in various ways. Among those the significant damage
is caused
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
, the excessive usage of vehicles, burning fields, smoke expelled from the Industries are contaminating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
.
For Example
, recent times in the city of Delhi,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
pollution are at alarming levels,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
even can't
properly
breathe. At Present, there is no such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
which can control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
Pollution in Delhi.

In the same way
, Ocean Contamination is one of the major Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Issues
, a strong contributor to the Marine Pollution is Plastic. Sea living beings, considering the synthetic materials as eatables, are consuming the Plastic. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find the instances where the large Fish, Turtles stomach
are filled
with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'Fibre' is British English.
Fibre
debris, this may become the serious cause for the Marine life extinction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remove the waste out of the Oceans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot eradicate the problem as a whole.

To Conclude
, by considering the above examples in my view, I contradict with the statement and
strongly
believe that Humans should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
contributing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
efforts from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
every day,
instead
of waiting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up and resolve the Nature's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Issues
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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