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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. v. 3
Now a day, animals live in the forests have no place to live in. Some people believe that to provide protection to them is not a useful manner. On the one hand, animals are the important creation of God, as they are useful to us in some how way. They provide us food, clothes and many valuable items which are essential to us in our day to day life. In order to meet all the benefits from the animals, it is for us to provide good health and shelter, it can be only done by banning the process of deforestation, hunting and killing. More and more national parks and sanctuaries should be built where these wild animals are kept and provide all the facilities. On the other hand, some people are in a view of providing shelter for these such animals is a wasteful thing. Many people are in perspective of spending money to build protected areas where these wild animals can live in a better way is of no use. As they are wild in nature, there is no need to care about them. In Conclusion, many species of the animals like Tiger, Elephant have become extinct due to these activities. All this should be banned. Animals whether they are domestic or wild, all play a vital role in our lives, all need a good habitat to live in. To preserve them is very important. In order to maintain this, it is necessary on every ones part to protect them from all the dangers like hunting, killing etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the forests have no place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
protection to them is not a useful manner.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
creation of God, as they are useful to us in
Did you mean "somehow"?
some how
way. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
us food, clothes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
valuable items which are essential to us in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, it is for us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health and shelter, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
done by banning the process of deforestation, hunting and killing. More and more national parks and sanctuaries should
be built
where these wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
all the facilities.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in a view of providing shelter for these such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a wasteful thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in perspective of spending money to build protected areas where these wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a better way is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. As they are wild in nature, there is no need to care about them.

In Conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like Tiger, Elephant have become extinct due to these activities. All this should
be banned
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
whether they are domestic or wild, all play a vital role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, all need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habitat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in. To preserve them is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In order to maintain this, it is necessary on every ones part to protect them from all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
like hunting, killing etc.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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