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Essay topics: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.2

Essay topics: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 2
In past few decades as a result of industrialization the world has turn into a global market. Some people hold the belief that having local products available across are the globe could have some negative implications. However, I tend to agree with the statement only up-to a some extent. On the one hand, the reason why I believe the convenience of buying the same products anywhere in the world leads to the first drawback: the reduction in domestic products. It is widely believed that a plenty of inhabitants is a fan of foreign goods, especially the number seems to increase in developing countries. With the likeliness of products sold everywhere in the world, a number of people would choose to support items from developed countries. This course of action would lead to the disappearance of several products. Another reason to disapprove of this trend is the loss of cultural diversity. We cannot deny the fact that clothes are liked to one’s culture. People are likely to ignore these conventional clothes in their own country as they can pursuit imported ones with nominal prices which they believe to have much more quality. Consequently, such development influences our cultural aspects negatively. On the other hand, products are in close proximity to customers than ever before due to globalization. Having such a feature has multifarious benefits: This trend creates a competitive environment, additionally urges them to push themselves up, in order to revitalize their own brands; New inventions are introduced in market to attract customers. It also increases the selling opportunity for everyone, your commodities as a producer is not restricted to own country; national boundaries dissolve and you become a global retailer. The resulting world would be a one big country with no segregation based on race or border. In conclusion, I would opine that having same items available across the globe is advantageous. However, few points such as decline of cultural diversity and local brands getting outpaced by multi-national corporations are points worth considering.
In past few decades
as a result
of industrialization the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has turn into a global market.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the belief that having local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available across are the globe could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications.
However
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
up-to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

On the one hand, the reason why I believe the convenience of buying the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
anywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
leads to the
first
drawback: the reduction in domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. It is
widely
believed that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of inhabitants is a fan of foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
especially
the number seems to increase in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. With the likeliness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
sold everywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would choose to support items from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This course of action would lead to the disappearance of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Another reason to disapprove of this trend is the loss of cultural diversity. We cannot deny the fact that clothes
are liked
to one’s culture.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
these conventional clothes in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as they can pursuit imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
with nominal prices which they believe to have much more quality.
Consequently
, such development influences our cultural aspects
negatively
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are in
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
to customers than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
due to globalization. Having such a feature has multifarious benefits: This trend creates a competitive environment,
additionally
urges them to push themselves up, in order to revitalize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
brands; New inventions
are introduced
in market to attract customers. It
also
increases the selling opportunity for everyone, your commodities as a producer is not restricted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
; national boundaries dissolve and you become a global retailer. The resulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
would be a one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with no segregation based on race or border.

In conclusion
, I would opine that having same items available across the globe is advantageous.
However
, few points such as decline of cultural diversity and local brands getting outpaced by multi-national corporations are points worth considering.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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