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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.2

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 2
The process in which people, ideas, technology and goods spread throughout the world in order to develop more interaction between the world’s cultures, governments, and economies is called globalization. In my opinion, globalization is playing a beneficial role in the development of the whole world. (44) In ancient times, people had a very simple life. They had limited resources and poor means of communication. Therefore, international trade and interaction with the external world was very rare in many parts of the world at that time. At present, the lifestyle of people is greatly changed across the world due to huge advancement in Science and Technology. Nowadays, the availability of international brands in any country has enabled consumers to purchase similar quality products. (77) The recent development in telecommunication sector has made business very reliable and fast. The invention of cell phone has brought people in close contact. The modern internet facility has enabled people to buy any product online from any part of the world. Thus, the multinational companies have to use the latest technology in order to facilitate the clients in purchasing similar goods while sitting in any part of the world. If the flame of globalization keeps on spreading, then the entire world will certainly become a global village in near future. (91) In my opinion, globalization has given birth to similar way of life in different regions of the world. It has not only reduced the gaps and conflicts between different countries but also has made life far luxurious and more comfortable than in the past. (44)
The process in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
spread throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in order to develop more interaction between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
cultures,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, and economies
is called
globalization. In my opinion, globalization is playing a beneficial role in the development of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. (44)

In ancient times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple life. They had limited resources and poor means of communication.
Therefore
, international trade and interaction with the external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
at that time. At present, the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
due to huge advancement in Science and Technology. Nowadays, the availability of international brands in any country has enabled consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
similar quality products. (77)

The recent development in telecommunication sector has made business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reliable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. The invention of cell phone has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in close contact.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
modern internet facility has enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any product online from any part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Thus
, the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the latest technology in order to facilitate the clients in purchasing similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
while sitting in any part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. If the flame of globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on spreading, then the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
certainly
become a global village in near future. (91)

In my opinion, globalization has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
birth to similar way of life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the gaps and conflicts between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has made life far luxurious and more comfortable than in the past. (44)
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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