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Environmental problem such as pollution and climate variations are increasing now days. The government have taken measures at global level but they got only few solution. why is it so? and how can this problem be solved? v.2

Environmental problem such as pollution and climate variations are increasing now days. The government have taken measures at global level but they got only few solution. why is it so? and how can this problem be solved? v. 2
The issue of global warming has become a hot topic of discussion in our community today. It is generally believed the government have undergone several steps aim at tackling these problems posed by pollution and climate changes in our environment recently, yet to little avail. But rather the troublesome situation kept on growing rapidly. This essay will discuss what is responsible for this and will as well suggest solution to tackle it. To begin with, the primary cause of this is misplacement of priority on the side of the government. This is so because they have failed to tackle the main source of the catastrophe in terms of industrialization and indiscriminate refuse disposal but rather gave attention to the minor causes. For example, in the year 2006, the Nigerian Government at the aim of tackling ozone layer depletion focused its attention on planting a few trees around the states while forbearing the fact that large companies are still operating within the residential area and releasing greenhouse gases into the environment which are in turn harmful to both human, animal and the ecosystem in general. As a result, insignificant answers are gotten in the process to tackle the issue. However, to solve the problem mentioned above, the Government should direct its focus on the major cause of climate variations and environmental pollution with respect to industrialization and indiscriminate waste dumping. This can be done through enacting of law to guide against promiscuous waste dumping and large organization from establishing industries in the areas where people inhabit. Also law to restrict the use of harmful chemicals in the manufacturing process and against the uncontrolled release of it into the water bodies and the atmosphere as well as creating penalty to punish any citizen or organization that go against the rules. For instance, heavy taxes can be placed on organizations found disobeying the enacted law. Hence significant solutions are provided on the issue by following the instances above,
The issue of global warming has become a hot topic of discussion in our community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. It is
generally
believed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have undergone several steps aim at tackling these problems posed by pollution and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our environment recently,
yet
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
avail.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
rather
the troublesome situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on growing
rapidly
. This essay will discuss what is responsible for this and will
as well
suggest solution to tackle it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the primary cause of this is misplacement of priority on the side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have failed to tackle the main source of the catastrophe in terms of industrialization and indiscriminate refuse disposal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
gave attention to the minor causes.
For example
, in the year 2006, the Nigerian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
at the aim of tackling ozone layer depletion focused its attention on planting a few trees around the states while forbearing the fact that large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
still
operating within the residential area and releasing greenhouse gases into the environment which are in turn harmful to both human, animal and the ecosystem
in general
.
As a result
, insignificant answers
are gotten
in the process to tackle the issue.

However
, to solve the problem mentioned above, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should direct its focus on the major cause of climate variations and environmental pollution with respect to industrialization and indiscriminate waste dumping. This can
be done
through enacting of law to guide against promiscuous waste dumping and large organization from establishing industries in the areas where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
inhabit.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
law to restrict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of harmful chemicals in the manufacturing process and against the uncontrolled release of it into the water bodies and the atmosphere
as well
as creating penalty to punish any citizen or organization that go against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
For instance
, heavy taxes can
be placed
on organizations found disobeying the enacted law.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
significant solutions
are provided
on the issue by following the instances above,
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Environmental problem such as pollution and climate variations are increasing now days. The government have taken measures at global level but they got only few solution. why is it so? and how can this problem be solved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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