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Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level v. 2
Environmental problems have reached such proportions that people feel international organisations must be set up to intervene in world affairs to resolve these problems. Whether this will resolve the problem is very unlikely as international organisations are just an extension of human behaviour. That is, if human conflicts cannot be resolved at home, then they are unlikely to be resolved at the international level. Nevertheless, international organisations do attract attention to the growing problem of pollution and the destruction of the environment. However, although I respect the aims of the international community to resolve the issue of environmental pollution and support their cause, I do not believe it is the best or only way to protect the environment; in fact, it is only a small part of what is needed in a global initiative. All world problems, whether it is environmental pollution, war, energy insufficiency, or famine, arise from the abusive behaviour of all individuals, Therefore, the solution to all these problems is the need for collective consciousness. What is meant by this is that each individual must be aware of the impact he or she has on the world and their unique part to play in this world. After all, if one is happy with his life, he will surely not endeavour to harm the environment or anyone else. His behaviour will be that of a responsible individual. What is needed, therefore, is education. Education is the key to all problems and it starts from pregnancy all the way to adulthood and beyond. Furthermore, education means that children all over the world should be allowed to go to schools with good teachers and where teaching materials and methods can be adapted to each individual. Education means raising children to be responsible individuals. This may sound like utopia, but it is not: if a country has important problems in its educational system, then it should realise that it is contributing to the world' s problems. These are perhaps long term solutions, but they are more realistic solutions than setting up yet another international organisation.
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have reached such proportions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be set
up to intervene in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
affairs to resolve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
this will resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unlikely as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an extension of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
That is
, if human conflicts cannot
be resolved
at home, then they are unlikely to
be resolved
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
level.
Nevertheless
,

international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
do attract attention to the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of pollution and the destruction of the environment.
However
, although I respect the aims of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
community to resolve the issue of environmental pollution and support their cause, I do not believe it is the best or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to protect the environment; in fact, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of what
is needed
in a global initiative.

All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, whether it is environmental pollution, war, energy insufficiency, or famine, arise from the abusive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of all individuals,
Therefore
, the solution to all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is the need for collective consciousness. What
is meant
by this is that each individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware of the impact he or she has on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and their unique part to play in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
After all
, if one is happy with his life, he will
surely
not
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to harm the environment or anyone else. His
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will be that of a responsible individual.

What
is needed
,
therefore
, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the key to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from pregnancy all the way to adulthood and beyond.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
means that children all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go to schools with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teachers and where teaching materials and methods can
be adapted
to each individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
means raising children to be responsible individuals.

This may sound like utopia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not: if a country has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in its educational system, then it should
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that it is contributing to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
world&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. These are perhaps long term solutions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are more realistic solutions than setting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
up


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
yet
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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