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Some people think that it is a good idea to give children a small amount of money each week to spend on what they would like. Other people think that this is wrong and that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons v.4

Some people think that it is a good idea to give children a small amount of money each week to spend on what they would like. Other people think that this is wrong and that it is a waste of money. Give reasons v. 4
Nowadays without money, a human being can not live. Money has all the needs fulfilled to people like buying to selling and more also but in this essay, some believe that a small amount of money to give pupils it is a good way while others say it is kind of waste stuff. I give my opinion before discussing the debate I believed that paternal should give some portion of money their adolescent. To being with, mother and father and other family members have the mentality to give money to his child and child could become happy to keep money and save all amounts of money in their small personal bank fulfilled his needs like chocolates and toys whenever he wants. Moreover, many parents should think about their pupils something learns financial planning in the future they have when will grow how to tackle financial management. For example, the warren buffet is a fit example to understand because when he was a child and doing the job they small amount of money-saving instead of spending and this man understand term of investment what should do having money. On the other side give money to his child that is a sound way but parents also take some responsibility for his juveniles, However, they are not gone at the catastrophic stage because of some younger believe that they could enjoy and the wrong direction went through it. one example takes drug and drinks which is harmful to health and also younger people. The family member must know about his child after gave money where the child had to spend money. To sum up, my points for giving money is boon and bane but paternal also responsible for all the situations ready to uncertainities.
Nowadays without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, a human being can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
has all the needs fulfilled to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like buying to selling and more
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this essay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
pupils it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way while others say it is kind of waste stuff. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
my opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
discussing the debate I believed that paternal should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
their adolescent.

To
Did you mean "begin"?
being
with, mother and father and other family members have the mentality to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
could become happy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and save all amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
personal bank fulfilled his needs like chocolates and toys whenever he wants.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their pupils something learns financial planning in the future they have when will grow how to tackle financial management.
For example
, the warren buffet is a fit example to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when he was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and doing the job they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of money-saving
instead
of spending and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
understand term of investment what should do having money.

On the other side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that is
a sound way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
parents
also
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
responsibility for his juveniles,
However
, they are not gone at the catastrophic stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "young", "youngers"?
younger
believe that they could enjoy and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction went through it. one example takes drug and drinks which is harmful to health and
also
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The family member
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
after gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
had to spend money.

To sum up, my points for giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is boon and bane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
paternal
also
responsible for all the situations ready to
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncertainities
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that it is a good idea to give children a small amount of money each week to spend on what they would like. Other people think that this is wrong and that it is a waste of money. Give reasons v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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