Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.4

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. v. 4
Firms often ask for minute details about job applicant’s live such as the pastimes of the applicants as well as their marital statuses. This has resulted in a controversy where some people insist that such request for such personal information are necessary and should be encouraged while other people, of which category I belong to, argue that such knowledge about prospective employees should not be available at the firm’s disposal. The reasons for each view will be discussed. There are reasons why some people feel employers should ask for some private information about job seekers. One of such reasons is that they feel the information will help the company to know intoto about any applicant. Companies deserve to know if they are employing maniacs or criminally-inclined people. For example, a man whose extracurricular activity is watching pornography will likely be a danger to female staff in a company. Another reason for people supporting the idea of companies knowing very much about interviewees is that the company needs to know if the job is the best fit for an applicant. A woman who has five children will not be suited for a job which has long night shifts. However, there are reasons why I do not subscribe to asking for personal information of prospective employer. I feel requesting for such personal details will be encroaching too far into their personal lives. The last thing I want is for my boss to know that I play video games. Another reason for my stance on this matter about a company’s knowledge of any job applicant is that such information about a person does not help to know whether one is competent at a job, and as such there is no need for such information. In conclusion, while some argue that a job seeker’s personal information should be submitted to a company when a person applies for a job, I feel that such an action should be discouraged as it is unnecessary.
Firms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
minute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
such as the pastimes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicants
as well
as their marital statuses. This has resulted in a controversy where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that such request for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are necessary and should
be encouraged
while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, of which category I belong to, argue that such knowledge about prospective employees should not be available at the firm’s disposal. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for each view will
be discussed
.

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
employers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers. One of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
Possible spelling mistake found.
intoto
about any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
deserve to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
if they are employing maniacs or
criminally
-inclined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
whose extracurricular activity is watching pornography will likely be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to female staff in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
supporting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
knowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much about interviewees is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is the best fit for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
. A woman who has five children will not
be suited
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which has long night shifts.

However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I do not subscribe to asking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of prospective employer. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
requesting for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
will be encroaching too far into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The last thing I want is for my boss to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that I play video games. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my stance on this matter about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
knowledge of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applicant
is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about a person does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
whether one is competent at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and as such there is no need for such information.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeker’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be submitted
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
when a person applies for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that such an action should
be discouraged
as it is unnecessary.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts