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In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150 v.4

In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150 v. 4
Science has improved many aspects of our lives and may create opportunity for people to live to advanced age in the future. Although this might be beneficial to individuals, but may have negative impacts on the society. This essay will outline the advantages and risks of living up to 150 years. One major benefit of living to a longer year is that it offers individuals the opportunity to spend more times with their loved ones. In other words, people could have more happy periods to enjoy with family and friends and experience more good things. For instance, at hundred and fifty years, many individuals would have brought about 2 to 3 generations, thus, have lived to see their great grandchildren. Another advantage of living longer is that it gives people time to contribute more to the state. This could be seen in professionals like doctors, teachers and musicians. For example, if Michael Jackson had lived longer, he might have produced more interesting songs. However, the disadvantages of living to one hundred and fifty years should not be overlooked. One serious negative effect is overcrowding and its consequences. This means that due to increase in population, great number of people would live together, thus, increasing the risk of contagious diseases such as tuberculosis. Additionally, there would be much pressure on the welfare system, which means that the government would struggle to care for the older generations in terms of paying pensions, and the few working adults would be taxed heavily. Finally, being too old comes with poor health as the body systems would progressively deteriorate. Consequently, in order to care for them, these elderly would remain liabilities in their families and the community as a whole. In conclusion, living to a very old age has some clear benefits to both individuals and society, yet also brings risks such as overcrowding, pressure on social welfare and stress. Therefore, thriving to such a number of years is more of a liability than assets.
Science has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and may create opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
to advanced age in the future. Although this might be beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the society. This essay will outline the advantages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
up to 150 years.

One major benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
to a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is that it offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
the opportunity to spend more times with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could have more happy periods to enjoy with family and friends and experience more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.
For instance
, at
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
and fifty years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
would have brought about 2 to 3 generations,
thus
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their great grandchildren. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
longer is that it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
time to contribute more to the state. This could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in professionals like doctors, teachers and musicians.
For example
, if Michael Jackson had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
longer, he might have produced more interesting songs.

However
, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
to one hundred and fifty years should not
be overlooked
. One serious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect is overcrowding and its consequences. This means that due to increase in population, great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together,
thus
, increasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of contagious diseases such as tuberculosis.
Additionally
, there would be much pressure on the welfare system, which means that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would struggle to care for the older generations in terms of paying pensions, and the few working adults would
be taxed
heavily
.
Finally
, being too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with poor health as the body systems would
progressively
deteriorate.
Consequently
, in order to care for them, these elderly would remain liabilities in their families and the community as a whole.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society,
yet
also
brings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as overcrowding, pressure on social welfare and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Therefore
, thriving to such a number of years is more of a liability than assets.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150 v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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