Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.20

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 20
Job interviews involve various interviewing dimensions to choose among the prospective candidates. While some believe that interviews should not involve asking personal details of the interviewees, I believe that such information proves to be of great help in hiring the most appropriate applicant. Those who advocate that the private details of people should not be asked at the interviews might argue that such information becomes the basis of bias in hiring of the employees. Selecting employees considering their race, family and gender is an accepted dilemma. for example, that is the reason that some countries have imposed legislations on the hiring of employees on the basis of caste, creed, social group or sexual category. Education, experience and the relevant professional skills are accepted as the ultimate requirements to appoint the most suitable candidate for a vacancy. Contrary to this, in my opinion, asking personal information from the interviewees aids in the selection process. A person who loves to paint as a hobby will be suitable for the post of creative graphic designer. Similarly, a married woman with children will not be suitable for a task demanding travelling or long working hours. A manager might miss out a better candidate for a particular position, if questions related to the private details of the interviewee are totally avoided. In conclusion, the people who do not favour asking personal facts in employment interviews might consider it to be a reason of prejudice in the employee selection. However, in my opinion the benefits overshadows the risks involved. In addition to the formal profile, details about a person’s marital status, past times and interests allows the interviewer to better match a candidate to a particular job description.
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
involve various interviewing dimensions to choose among the prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
should not involve asking personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of the interviewees, I believe that such information proves to be of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in hiring the most appropriate applicant.

Those who advocate that the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not
be asked
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
might argue that such information becomes the basis of bias in hiring of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
considering their race, family and gender is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
dilemma.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example,
that is
the reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have imposed
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations on
the hiring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
on the basis of caste, creed, social group or sexual category. Education, experience and the relevant professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
as the ultimate requirements to appoint the most suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
for a vacancy.

Contrary to this, in my opinion, asking personal information from the interviewees aids in the selection process. A person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to paint as a hobby will be suitable for the post of creative graphic designer.
Similarly
, a married woman with children will not be suitable for a task demanding travelling or long working hours. A manager might miss out a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
for a particular position, if questions related to the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of the interviewee are
totally
avoided.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
asking personal facts in employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interviews
might consider it to be a reason of prejudice in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
selection.
However
, in my opinion the benefits overshadows the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
involved.
In addition
to the formal profile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
about a person’s marital status, past times and interests
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the interviewer to better match a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
to a particular job description.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts