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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words. v.11

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 11
It is quite common in job applying processes for companies to ask candidates about their personal information such as family relationship and what they do in their leisure time. While there are some people that believe these facts are import to the company to know, others believe requiring this information is unethical. This essay will present both points of view and then I will provide my own perspective on this matter. On one side of the discussion, there are professionals who think it is relevant to know more than just the candidate's professional background. They usually think knowing information such as hobbies, marital status and family income allows the company to understand psychological aspects of the candidate. For instance, if the applicant seems to be a more sociable person, it tends to have better teamwork skills. On the other hand, some people believe companies should not be allowed to ask about personal information to candidates applying for a job. They believe these information could be unfairly used against the applicants. A married woman with no children, for example, could not be considered for a position just because the organization inferred she would dream about being a mother soon and use employer’s resources for maternity leave. In conclusion, although both sides have valid arguments, my opinion is that privacy is a fundamental right. Because of it, I strongly believe organizations should keep the questions to the job applicants in the professional field, respecting this way their personal lives.
It is quite common in job applying processes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to ask candidates about their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as family relationship and what they do in their leisure time. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
these facts are import to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to know, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
requiring this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is unethical. This essay will present both points of view and then I will provide my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective on this matter.

On one side of the discussion, there are professionals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is relevant to know more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the candidate's professional background. They
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as hobbies, marital status and family income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to understand psychological aspects of the candidate.
For instance
, if the applicant seems to be a more sociable person, it tends to have better teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to ask about personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to candidates applying for a job. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
could be
unfairly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
against the applicants. A married woman with no children,
for example
, could not
be considered
for a position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the organization inferred she would dream about being a mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
employer’s resources for maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.

In conclusion
, although both sides have valid arguments, my opinion is that privacy is a fundamental right.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of it, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
organizations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the questions to the job applicants in the professional field, respecting this way their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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