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Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v.9

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 9
With the huge demand of the life and the economic situation, employees work very hard to maintain their job and their professional career. While some people think that employers must provide longer vacations to employees to encourage them, others argue that it is not necessary. I agree to some extent with this statement and vacations should be complied with the employment contract. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide a conclusion with my point of view. To begin with, there are several reasons why some people think employers should give longer holidays. Firstly, employees are working hardly during and after the working hours to ensure success for their organizations. Accordingly, if employers increase employees vacations, they will know that their contribution to the work is recognized and appreciated. For example, providing employee with a combo off for their extra work during weekends, this will make them happy and they will give more for their organization. Secondly, giving extra vacations or holidays to employees during their emergency situations will raise their efforts, and work hardly to compensate these days. Hence, both employees and employers will be satisfied and the business will grow. On the other hand, some believe that employers should not give extra holidays to employees. To start with, the agreement between employee and employee is driven by an employment contract. By this contract both have agreed on the terms and conditions mentioned in the contract including the vacation period. For instance, each government is forcing employee to draft a contract based on the country labour law where the vacation is defined. Additionally, employees are bonded with business contracts that should be delivered on time. If an employer gives the employee an extra vacation, the company will be impacted due to the lake of solutions delivery. To sum up, employers and the labour law are controlling vacations period for employee that meet the company goals, however; we could not ignore the added value of giving longer holidays to employees. I profoundly believe that longer holidays might impact the organizations, and holidays should controlled by rules and regulations to ensure satisfaction for both sides.
With the huge demand of the life and the economic situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to maintain their job and their professional career. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to encourage them, others argue that it is not necessary. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent with this statement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
should
be complied
with the employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide a conclusion with my point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are working hardly during and after the working hours to ensure success for their organizations.
Accordingly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
, they will know that their contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is recognized
and appreciated.
For example
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
with a combo off for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during weekends, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happy and
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
more for their organization.
Secondly
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
during their emergency situations will raise their efforts, and
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'work'.
work hardly
to compensate these days.
Hence
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
will
be satisfied
and the business will grow.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the agreement between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is driven
by an employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
. By this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
both have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
on the terms and conditions mentioned in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
period.
For instance
, each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to draft a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
based on the country
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
law where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
is defined
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are bonded
with business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contracts
that should
be delivered
on time. If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will
be impacted
due to the lake of solutions delivery.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
law are controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
period for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
goals,
however
; we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
value of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. I
profoundly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
might impact the organizations, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "control"
controlled
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations to ensure satisfaction for both sides.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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