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Some people prefer to work for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people prefer to work for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. What is your opinion? v. 1
Of late, switching companies have become a trend among the working people. Even though there are individuals who likes to change jobs, there are some who would rather continue working for the same establishment. I believe one should change jobs at times as it enables an individual to thrive in the competitive market, be confident and also grow financially. Firstly, to climb up the ladder of success an individual has to be updated daily with the changing technologies. Exposure to a new work environment opens gateway to new opportunities. To cite an example, decades back computer engineers used coding languages such as C, whereas the latest languages they use, to name a few, are Python, Javascript etc. If a person decides to stay in the same company doing the same work he does not gain experience with the latest platform. Consequently, the chances of them being terminated from their work during a crisis would be high. Whereas, a talented person would be able to withstand any work pressure due to his experience in several companies. Another reason would be the increments in wages, as changing jobs means an upgrade to the income. For example, a software engineer in India gets a minimum 40% salary hike in his new company with respect to his previous one. As a result, within the span of a few years he would be receiving twice the amount he received in his first job. This encourages people to change jobs, whereas others who sticks to the same company would be entitled to receive just yearly appraisal. To conclude, there are individuals who prefer to stay at the same job while others who likes changing jobs. Analysing all facts, I agree that switching companies occasionally is better since it upgrades an individual's knowledge as well as increase their salary package.
Of late, switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have become a trend among the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Even though
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "like"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'individuals' should be used.
likes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would
rather
continue working for the same establishment. I believe one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at times as it enables an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to thrive in the competitive market, be confident and
also
grow
financially
.

Firstly
, to climb up the ladder of success an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be updated
daily with the changing technologies. Exposure to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment opens gateway to new opportunities. To cite an example, decades back computer engineers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
coding languages such as C, whereas the latest languages they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, to name a few, are Python,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Javascript
etc.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
a person decides to stay in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
doing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
he does not gain experience with the latest platform.
Consequently
, the chances of them
being terminated
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during a crisis would be high.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, a talented person would be able to withstand any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure due to his experience in several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Another reason would be the increments in wages, as changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
means an upgrade to the income.
For example
, a software engineer in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a minimum 40% salary hike in his new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with respect to his previous one.
As a result
, within the span of a few years he would be receiving twice the amount he received in his
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This encourages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, whereas others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "stick"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'others' should be used.
sticks
to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
would
be entitled
to receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
yearly appraisal.

To conclude
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer to stay at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "like"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'others' should be used.
likes
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
all facts, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
occasionally
is better since it upgrades an individual's knowledge
as well
as increase their salary package.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to work for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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