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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement The purpose of television is to educate not to entertain v.2

The purpose of television is to educate not to entertain v. 2
Television, almost since its invention, is an inherent part of modern life of people in last decades. You couldn’t imagine a house without television. Television is the mandatory tool for filling free hours of all members of a family. I believe the statement of considering television as a educational tool rather than entertainment tool is not correct, while in my opinion it is better to consider T. V as a tool for entertain while could have some educational purposes. We know most of people watch T. V in their free hours like after their job or school. Aim of these people is to putt of the pressure that they get while their job or school. Therefore, they don’t want to watch T. V only for education. They are seeking for some entertainment. If the television is a tool which convey only educational programs to the people, They hesitate to watch those programs and set off the T. V. Therefore, it’s not logical for T. V owners to just put educational programs on their time schedule, when they are seeking for more viewers of their programs for financial purposes. I believe it is better to consider T. V as a tool for conveying educational messages, which are useful to improve peoples culture and knowledge, with an entertain mental outfit. To elaborate that I am going to give an example from our national T. V. There was a t. v show on out television which called Mosabegheye Hafte when I was child. The show was a knowledge competition among some competitors. The host was asking them some general questions and the show at last had a winner who won the prize. The host’s presentation and the ambiance of the show, intrigued a lot of viewers on that time. So this show played a role either to improve the knowledge of viewers by asking question or entertain them and filling their free hours. In summary, in my opinion considering television just for educational purposes and neglecting its educational role in people life is a wrong statement. Because people watch T. V to entertain them rather than acquiring some knowledge from that. Therefore, its better to use T. V to convey knowledge, while entertain people. The main issue here is how to make a program with valuable educational content which have an entertainment outfit to broadcast at T. V.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
, almost since its invention, is an inherent part of modern life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in last decades. You couldn’t imagine a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is the mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
for filling free hours of all members of a family. I believe the statement of considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
rather
than entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
is not correct, while in my opinion it is better to consider T. V as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertain
while could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
purposes.

We know most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
T. V in their free hours like after their job or school. Aim of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is to putt of the pressure that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
while their job or school.
Therefore
, they don’t want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
T. V
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for education. They are seeking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
which convey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, They hesitate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and set off the T. V.
Therefore
, it’s not logical for T. V owners to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on their time schedule, when they are seeking for more viewers of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
for financial purposes.

I believe it is better to consider T. V as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
for conveying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
messages, which are useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertain
mental outfit. To elaborate that I am going to give an example from our national T. V. There was a t. v
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
on out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
which called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mosabegheye
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hafte
when I was child. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
competition among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
competitors. The host was asking them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
general questions and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
at last had a winner who won the prize.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
host’s presentation and the ambiance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
, intrigued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
viewers on that time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
played a role either to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of viewers by asking question or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertain
them and filling their free hours.

In summary, in my opinion considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
purposes and neglecting its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
T. V to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertain
them
rather
than acquiring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from that.
Therefore
, its better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
T. V to convey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The main issue here is how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
with valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
content which have an entertainment outfit to broadcast at T. V.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The purpose of television is to educate not to entertain v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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