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Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. v. 4
Job motivation plays a crucial role for both employer and employee to achieve targets. Growing concerns from workforce to the company leads to provide holidays than that of benchmark, in return of quality work being produced by employees. I totally disagree with the notion because it distracts employee from work; moreover, it creates excessive pressure on available resources. This essay will demonstrate the impact of longer holidays on staff and company. To Embark on, longer holidays from work deviate employees from work to other aspects of life. In this developing and busy work culture, they will get some time to spend with their family; besides, this they will be back-tracked from work. Hence, on return from long break to work they feel obscure to resume it. Further, to this after some exasperated to restart their daily routine. For instance, in a research held in 2018 by a well know firm, Human Resource department revealed that after joining from long break they tend to be dissatisfied and less focused toward work. Thus, seen in this providing huge relaxation would cost for even more struggle to restart their own task. On the other note, if the workman is on long leave; somehow or the other it will pressurize the available team members. Consequently, this results in downfall of projects and even more to affect company’s progress. To exemplify, in a survey held at an institute of Banking Service provider, 80% of employees stated that with the encouragement of long holidays, others are being stressed at work. To sum up, employee needs some relaxation or break at work; but, it cannot be too long which suffer others. The purpose should be instead to build extra confidence and boost of potential at workplace, but not to make them lazy at work. In my opinion an employee should strive for rewards and recognition, rather than long leaves.
Job motivation plays a crucial role for both employer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to achieve targets. Growing concerns from workforce to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
leads to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
than that of benchmark, in return of quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
being produced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. I
totally
disagree with the notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it distracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
;
moreover
, it creates excessive pressure on available resources. This essay will demonstrate the impact of longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
on staff and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To Embark on, longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
deviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of life. In this developing and busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to spend with their family;
besides
, this they will be back-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracked
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Hence
, on return from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
break to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they feel obscure to resume it.
Further
, to this after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exasperated to restart their daily routine.
For instance
, in
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
held in 2018 by a
Did you mean "well-known"?
well know
firm, Human Resource department revealed that after joining from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
break they tend to
be dissatisfied
and less focused toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in this providing huge relaxation would cost for even more struggle to restart their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
task.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
note, if the workman is on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
; somehow or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
it will pressurize the available team members.
Consequently
, this results in downfall of projects and even more to affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s progress. To exemplify, in a survey held at an institute of Banking Service provider, 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
stated that with the encouragement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, others are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
at work.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxation or break at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it cannot be too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
which suffer others. The purpose should be
instead
to build extra confidence and boost of potential at workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them lazy at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In my opinion an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
should strive for rewards and recognition,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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