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Educationalist think that international exchange visits are important for teenage school students. Do you agree? v.2

Educationalist think that international exchange visits are important for teenage school students. Do you agree? v. 2
The awareness regarding an education has uncertainly gained momentum. However, this has been achieved by applying a various methodology in the academic institute. This had created the debatable topic for the researcher, who thinks cosmopolitan visits, plays a crucial role in the development of the pupil during their school time. The essay will discuss my opinion followed by supporting arguments in the below paragraph. To begin with, as per my opinion the most important reason is that students will able to get information about the different culture and their mythology. Even they start to do respect of their beliefs and become religious. This will help the society by building a future generation who respects their tradition. For example, If Indian students visit the foreign country, then they able to know that how people respect their culture and they understand the value of their country, so they start to respect their own nation. Moreover, by continuing such programs helps an intelligent school child to explore their knowledge by visiting such country, which are working on the investigation and using the latest technology. Furthermore, this type of educational activity also provides the atmosphere which serves the theoretical knowledge as well as practical skills, would become helpful later in their job. Because in the today’s world most of the companies are searching for the talent with whom they get their work, they do not have much time for their training. By doing such practice make the disciple more vocational. For instant, research conducted shows that student having dynamic nature is more welcomed by the employers than whom having only theoretical knowledge. Thus, this type of visits helps in the overall growth of the children. In conclusion, Visiting the foreign country helps the student to explore the different customs and understand the importance of the facts. Most of the students become Allrounder and able to achieve life goals in their life. Government and society should support such educational activity.
The awareness regarding an education has
uncertainly
gained momentum.
However
, this has
been achieved
by applying a various methodology in the academic institute. This had created the debatable topic for the researcher, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
cosmopolitan visits, plays a crucial role in the development of the pupil during their school time. The essay will discuss my opinion followed by supporting arguments in the below paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as per my opinion the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture and their mythology. Even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
of their beliefs and become religious. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the society by building a future generation who respects their tradition.
For example
, If Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
visit the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, then
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
able to know that how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they understand the value of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation.
Moreover
, by continuing such programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
an intelligent school child to explore their knowledge by visiting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which are working on the investigation and using the latest technology.

Furthermore
, this type of educational activity
also
provides the atmosphere which serves the theoretical knowledge
as well
as practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, would become helpful later in their job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are searching for the talent with whom they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their work, they do not have much time for their training. By doing such practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the disciple more vocational. For instant, research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
having dynamic nature is more welcomed by the employers than whom having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theoretical knowledge.
Thus
, this type of visits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in the
overall
growth of the children.

In conclusion
, Visiting the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to explore the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
customs and understand the importance of the facts. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
Allrounder
and able to achieve life goals in their life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and society should support such educational activity.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Educationalist think that international exchange visits are important for teenage school students. Do you agree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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