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Educationalists think that international exchange visits are important for teenage school students What is your viewpoint on it v.1

Educationalists think that international exchange visits are important for teenage school students What is your viewpoint on it v. 1
When the issue of citizen’s importance comes into view, there exist conflicting opinions. Truth be told, individuals’ role in developments has generated much discussion recently. Some people believe that any new developments can only be brought about by governments and large institutions. Personally, I completely disagree with the idea that individuals can do nothing to change society for the following reasons. Some people are inclined to work with others, think that only the authorities and large institutions can bring about new developments. I don’t think this argument is valid because a large institution is shaped by individuals, which means that without individuals, the institution will find it difficult doing everything. The governments maybe can make a big decision, but it is not to say that individuals don’t have any affection! Citizens who on the government’s side also say that individuals can do nothing to change society. I disagree with this too, as I think everyone have their own way to do that or contribute to the country’s development. They can do charity by their own substances, including money, clothes, necessity, . . . Or devote their knowledge, ideas. . . . For example, Thomas Edison is a scientist, inventor and a businessman who invented many devices that affected our lives. And now, the whole world benefits from his idea. This directly suggests that, individuals also can exert an influence on developments and help to change society. I strongly believe that individuals can incorporate small change in their daily routines, which will then sum up to be a big change in society. Some individual action seems quite small and did not bring much influence, but in fact, it's maybe bring great impact on the community. Moreover, we suppose that only large institutions can make a change but have we ever thought about how to set up an organization? Of course, we don’t often think about it. To form an organization or a group of people, we need a founder or a leader. That is exactly why each individual is very important in changing society. Take Hermann Gmeiner as a perfect example, he is the founder of the SOS children’s village which is an international non-profit organization to help and protect the orphans, wandering and missed children. It was founded in 1949 and now ranked 33 out of 100 non-profit organization in the world “for global influence”. What can be inferred from this is an individual’s action can also have a big impact on the change and development of society. In conclusion, I would say that nobody should underestimate each individual’s contribute or effort to change because every major change in society comes from personal change. Anyone can make a big impact in society without governments and large institutions.
When the issue of citizen’s importance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into view, there exist conflicting opinions. Truth be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
has generated much discussion recently.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that any new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be brought
about by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions.
Personally
, I completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can do nothing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for the following reasons.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inclined
to work with others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the authorities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions can bring about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
. I don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this argument is valid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
institution
is shaped
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, which means that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
institution
will find it difficult doing everything. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
maybe can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
don’t have any affection! Citizens who on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
side
also
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can do nothing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I disagree with this too, as I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to do that or contribute to the country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. They can do charity by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
substances, including money, clothes, necessity
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Or devote their knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For example
, Thomas Edison is a scientist, inventor and a businessman who invented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
devices that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the whole world benefits from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This
directly
suggests that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
also
can exert an influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
society.

I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can incorporate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their daily routines, which will then sum up to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
action seems quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and did not bring much influence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact, it's maybe bring great impact on the community.
Moreover
, we suppose that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have we ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about how to set up an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
?
Of course
, we don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about it. To form an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
or a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, we need a founder or a leader.
That is
exactly why each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Take Hermann
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gmeiner
as a perfect example, he is the founder of the SOS children’s village which is an international non-profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and protect the orphans, wandering and missed children. It
was founded
in 1949 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
ranked 33 out of 100 non-profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
in the world “for global influence”. What can
be inferred
from this is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
action can
also
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of society.

In conclusion
, I would say that nobody should underestimate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
contribute or effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. Anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
impact in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
institutions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Educationalists think that international exchange visits are important for teenage school students What is your viewpoint on it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
457 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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