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Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime, while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime, while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. v. 1
The regime must work for the reduction of the criminal cases by imposing the straighten law, which provides the civilization security. Some people perceive that the authority should spend the large amount of fund on the reasons that helps to reduce the misconduct in the nation; while others think that they use such capital to punish the criminals. This essay will discuss about my stance with supporting arguments in further paragraph. To begin with, the foremost reason is that the authority should try to provide the basic requirement of an individual, such as food, shelter, and wage, which is needed to buy survival things. This would only be possible by creating employment opportunity. So, the government should start a new company by imposing large amount, which serve the society and gives opportunity for their better future. For example, one of the well-known car company, Tata industries, this company serves over the five thousand families can get salary from them and leave their life happily. Moreover, the authority must start programs which provide free education to the general public. By getting an education they can acquire the job, as a result, it creates the positive atmosphere in the nation. On the other hand, there are some people who regard that money would be spent on the punishment given to the person who attempted offensive task. They start some educational activity which guides them to follow the right path. Even they also teach them new skills that would be used to earn money when they are released from the jail. For instance, Research conducted shows that the eighty percent people can be diverted on the correct path by consulting positively and observing their activity for the short time. In conclusion, the ruler party must have to work for the safety of the nation. As per my opinion, this would be only achieved by spending large capital on the reduction of the antisocial work by providing direct direction to live.
The regime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work for the reduction of the criminal cases by imposing
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'straighten' is correct. If 'straighten' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the straighten
law, which provides the civilization security.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perceive that the authority should spend the large amount of fund on the reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the misconduct in the nation; while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such capital to punish the criminals. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
stance with supporting arguments in
further
paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the foremost reason is that the authority should try to provide the basic requirement of an individual, such as food, shelter, and wage, which
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
survival things. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be possible by creating employment opportunity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
by imposing large amount, which serve the society and gives opportunity for their better future.
For example
, one of the well-known car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, Tata industries, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
serves over the five thousand families can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
salary from them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their life
happily
.
Moreover
, the authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
programs which provide free education to the
Consider using "public".
general public
. By getting an education they can acquire the job,
as a result
, it creates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
atmosphere in the nation.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who regard that money would
be spent
on the punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the person who attempted offensive task. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational activity which guides them to follow the right path. Even they
also
teach them new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to earn money when they
are released
from the jail.
For instance
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the eighty percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be diverted
on the correct path by consulting
positively
and observing their activity for the short time.

In conclusion
, the ruler party
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for the safety of the nation. As per my opinion, this would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
achieved by spending large capital on the reduction of the antisocial work by providing direct direction to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime, while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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