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Education Job FairSaturday, October 9 9: 00 a. m. -12: 00 p. m. Washington CenterThe University of the Rockies has been offering our Placement Abroad Services for prospective teachers since 1980. This program is sponsored by the University of the Rockies' v.1

Education Job FairSaturday, October 9 9: 00 a. m. -12: 00 p. m. Washington CenterThe University of the Rockies has been offering our Placement Abroad Services for prospective teachers since 1980. This program is sponsored by the University of the Rockies' v. 1
It is argued that the most effective method of reducing crime is giving jail imprisonment for a long period of time. However, some people think there are existed another method to decrease the criminal quantity. Long sentences might stop only some minor criminals; it is unlikely that a majority of felony would be committed anyways. This essay will consider why eventually only few crime types will be reduced. Long confinement would help to stop essential crimes because human does not want to be convicted for a continuous period of time and destroy their whole life. In China, for example, minor crimes are very rarely because of the severe law. Chinese has the lowest rate of theft, shoplifting, burglaries and robberies. In addition, for these kinds of crime, human might spend 10 or even 20 years in the jail. That is why, long sentence may cut minor offences which is about 70% of the crime. Conversely, criminals, who committed a major crime, do not afraid long incarceration. These people do not care about punishment and they know in advance that it may be higher penalty. For instance, in the United States of America exist capital punishment, however every year, hundreds guilty murders, terrorists are under death penalty and hundred thousand get whole life isolation. For these reasons, long imprisonment does not work properly with major criminal and there must be other ways to reduce felony. To conclude, it is increasingly likely that longer penalty will cut felony. Long custody will eventually fall minor atrocities while it will not affect to the major criminals. Ultimately, most crime will be reduced by long sentences.
It
is argued
that the most effective method of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is giving jail imprisonment for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
period of time.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there
are existed
another method to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
quantity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Long
sentences might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
; it is unlikely that a majority of felony would
be committed
anyways. This essay will consider why
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
types will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Long confinement would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human does not want to
be convicted
for a continuous period of time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their whole life. In China,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rarely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the severe law. Chinese has the lowest rate of theft, shoplifting, burglaries and robberies.
In addition
, for these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, human might spend 10 or even 20 years in the jail.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
sentence may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
which is about 70% of the crime.

Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, who committed a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, do not afraid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
incarceration. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not care about
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
punishment and
they know in advance that it may be higher penalty.
For instance
, in the United States of America exist capital punishment,
however
every year, hundreds guilty murders, terrorists are under death penalty and
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
whole life isolation. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
imprisonment does not work
properly
with major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
and there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be other ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
felony.

To conclude
, it is
increasingly
likely that longer penalty will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
felony.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Long
custody will
eventually
fall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
atrocities while it will not affect to the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
Ultimately
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
sentences.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Education Job FairSaturday, October 9 9: 00 a. m. -12: 00 p. m. Washington CenterThe University of the Rockies has been offering our Placement Abroad Services for prospective teachers since 1980. This program is sponsored by the University of the Rockies' v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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