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Education is the single most important factor in the development of a developing country. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

Education is the single most important factor in the development of a developing country. v. 2
It is common knowledge that education plays key role in today’s world. The question, however, arises what impact education have on development in country. This essay will attempt to discuss both sides of the argument and give relevant examples. Frist and foremost, it is often claimed that educations as a knowledge has no limit itself. Everybody knows that education is essential for a country because it change the way how people are thinking. For example, kids at school are encouraged to think creatively by teacher and that fact for sure will bring a big profit to the country. Moreover, if we compare well developed country such as Australia or Canada to any of the poor country from Africa or south-west Asia, we can see enormous gap between those countries. Not only in the standard of living but also in the medicine, or even in the number of patents. Which is directly related to the school education system. As a second many people saying that education system needs deep transformation, because they believe that today’s education system creates brainless, unthinking creatures. It is due to diversity of people. Everyone of us is different and everybody have different way of thinking, seeing the world and needs. They trust that kids at school are overloaded with the knowledge that they will never use in their future life. From the arguments I have presented above it can be seen that both arguments definitively have their supports and opponents. It is my view though that only traditional school can guarantee and provide the best effect in the developing country, however we should keep improving the way of learning to create more efficient society.
It is common knowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays key role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. The question,
however
, arises what impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have on development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will attempt to discuss both sides of the argument and give relevant examples.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Frist
and foremost, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
as
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "knowledge".
a knowledge
has no limit itself. Everybody knows that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "changes"?
change
the way how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are thinking.
For example
, kids at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
creatively
by teacher and that fact for sure will bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
profit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, if we compare
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as Australia or Canada to any of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from Africa or south-west Asia, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
enormous gap between those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the standard of living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the medicine, or even in the number of patents. Which is
directly
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.

As a second
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system needs deep transformation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system creates brainless, unthinking creatures. It is due to diversity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you mean "every one"?
Everyone
of us is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of thinking, seeing the world and needs. They trust that kids at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are overloaded
with the knowledge that they will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their future life.

From the arguments I have presented above it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both arguments
definitively
have their supports and opponents. It is my view though that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can guarantee and provide the best effect in the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
however
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
improving the way of learning to create more efficient society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Education is the single most important factor in the development of a developing country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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