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'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting? v.4

'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting? v. 4
In the modern era, the use of computers and information technology has benefited companies a lot. The use of computer networks has made it possible for employees to work away from their offices and this is becoming extremely popular nowadays and will continue to grow in the years to come. In my opinion, employers can benefit immensely through the use of telecommuting which not only increases the productivity of employees, provides instant collaboration but also saves most companies running expenses. Firstly, teleworking helps employers to increase the productivity of employees by having a constant connection with them. For example, an employee working from his residence is available to work all the time, thus minimising the response time for any particular project or job-related updates. Furthermore, it is making collaboration much easier not only for workers but also for their managers. For example, in healthcare, this state-of-the-art piece of technology has made it possible for doctors to be thousands of miles away in their homes but still be able to provide consultancy to a patient or oversee a critical medical procedure. Secondly, a lot of companies are saving revenues just because there is no need for the employees to be present at their office premises all the times, especially companies with global presence that are starting out an operation in a new place, don’t specifically needs to rent out expensive offices and furniture, rather they can just hire employees and make them work from homes. In conclusion, I am confident that in the coming years telecommuting will one of the most practised norms for companies, as this type of technology not only offers a great deal of flexibility to businesses, but also provides efficiency and cost savings.
In the modern era, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and information technology has benefited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
a lot. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer networks has made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to work away from their offices and this is becoming
extremely
popular nowadays and will continue to grow in the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. In my opinion, employers can benefit
immensely
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of telecommuting which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increases the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, provides instant collaboration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
saves most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
running expenses.

Firstly
, teleworking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
employers to increase the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
by having a constant connection with them.
For example
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
working from his residence is available to work all the time,
thus
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimising' is British English.
minimising
the response time for any particular project or job-related updates.
Furthermore
, it is making collaboration much easier not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for their managers.
For example
, in healthcare, this state-of-the-art piece of technology has made it possible for doctors to be thousands of miles away in their homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
be able to provide consultancy to a patient or oversee a critical medical procedure.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are saving revenues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no need for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to be present at their office premises all the times,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with global presence that are starting out an operation in a new place, don’t
specifically
needs to rent out expensive offices and furniture,
rather
they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them work from homes.

In conclusion
, I am confident that in the coming years telecommuting will one of the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
norms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, as this type of technology not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offers a great deal of flexibility to businesses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides efficiency and cost savings.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay 'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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