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Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. v.3

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. v. 3
Education is the best gift for the human to incline higher social statue, which means someone who is the inferior position in the society can assure to change their terrible situations as well as their human rights and, deteriorated social and economic infrastructures. However, although opportunities for education may release many negative things, especially economic problems, from weaker. All burdens of stress and hardness relevant to society always fetter human life. Thus, all things of society resolved by education are overestimated or do not accept the current situation. This essay will be written for two reasons. To begin with, unlike the past, education is not a key to escape from the poor class. As seen an example of that, there are so many employees having an academic background. This means educations are no longer attached by employers or business markets. So, It is better to find another way that may distinguish me from rivals than focusing on education. Another reason is that education price is too high to achieve the goal deserved as a successful life from society. For example, completing the total education course is annually 3000 pounds in a year, In the Korean version. For four years. Additionally, including living expenses, cost of transportation, cost of rent in a house, and so on, massive price is paid to students, althoughalthough they allege to do both work and study, which casts overburden on younger having a not rich family background. So most of them have debts which may threaten their life for the whole lifetime. Therefore, the analysis of educations to give hope to common people would make them spoiled and lead to worse situations. All things considered, education is not the only solution for the poorer to take from their miserable situation now. Therefore, the government and the social groups consider diverse methods for them such as finding new job or market, leading new technologies to them in acceptable with their characters and aptitudes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the best gift for the human to incline higher social statue, which means someone who is the inferior position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can assure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
as well
as their human rights and, deteriorated social and economic infrastructures.
However
, although opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may release
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things,
especially
economic problems, from weaker. All burdens of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and hardness relevant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
always fetter human life.
Thus
, all things of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
resolved by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are overestimated
or do not accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. This essay will
be written
for two reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, unlike the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not a key to escape from the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an example of that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees having an academic background. This means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
are no longer attached by employers or business markets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, It is better to find another way that may distinguish me from rivals than focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
price is too high to achieve the goal deserved as a successful life from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, completing the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
course is
annually
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
3000 pounds
in a year, In the Korean version. For four years.
Additionally
, including living expenses, cost of transportation, cost of rent in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, massive price
is paid
to students,
Possible spelling mistake found.
althoughalthough
they allege to do both work and study, which casts overburden on younger having a not rich family background.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
most of them have debts which may threaten their life for the whole lifetime.
Therefore
, the analysis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
to give hope to common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them spoiled and lead to worse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. All things considered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution for the poorer to take from their miserable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the social groups consider diverse methods for them such as finding new job or market, leading new technologies to them in acceptable with their characters and aptitudes
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. v. 3

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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