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The Best Way To Improve Health Is To Do Regular Exercise. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

It is a well-known fact that exercise is essential for good health. Some people believe that the most effective solution for improving health is to exercise daily. I can only partially agree with this opinion because having a nutritious and healthy diet is equally necessary for enhancing health. Regular exercise is beneficial for our health in several ways. It strengthens bones and muscles and thus helps avoid many health problems, especially during old age. Exercise also keeps blood pressure and cholesterol in control to prevent heart-related diseases. Additionally, scientists have proven that regular exercise increases mental fitness and helps prevent stress. Thus it is evident that exercise enhances mental ability as well as physical fitness and thus prolongs life. However, if exercise is not supplemented with a healthy and nutritious diet, the human body will not be able to reap benefits. A research performed by students at the University of Michigan suggests that exercise will not aid health if the diet is not controlled. Muscle fibres break apart when we exercise hard and they need to be repaired by proteins in our diet. So, heavy protein intake becomes essential for regular exercise. Similarly, if we exercise for longer periods, then carbohydrates and fats are also vital for our body. Moreover, exercising daily does not mean that we are allowed to eat food with high sugar or salt. To conclude, day to day exercise is the best solution for developing and improving health provided that it is supported well with a nutritious and balanced meal.
It is a well-known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is essential for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the most effective solution for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
daily. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having a nutritious and healthy diet is
equally
necessary for enhancing health.

Regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is beneficial for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in several ways. It strengthens bones and muscles and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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health
problems,
especially
during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
blood pressure and cholesterol in control to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
heart-related diseases.
Additionally
, scientists have proven that regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
increases mental fitness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
enhances mental ability
as well
as physical fitness and
thus
prolongs life.

However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is not supplemented with a healthy and nutritious diet, the human body will not be able to reap benefits.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “research”.
A research
performed by students at the University of Michigan suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
will not aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
if the diet is not controlled. Muscle
Possible spelling mistake. ‘fibres’ is British English.
fibres
break apart when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hard and
they need to
be repaired
by proteins in our diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, heavy protein intake becomes essential for regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Similarly
, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for longer periods, then carbohydrates and fats are
also
vital for our body.
Moreover
, exercising daily does not mean that we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to eat food with high sugar or salt.

To conclude
, day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is the best solution for developing and improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
provided that it
is supported
well with a nutritious and balanced meal.
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With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The best way to improve health is to do regular exercise.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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