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Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 3
It is a fact that financial management play a very good role in the overall development of the nations. I admit that, education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school curriculum. Main aim of this essay is to discuss both views and to draw a conclusion. Admittedly, vast study topics and tough topics affects the learning capacity of students. This factors make them feel difficult to follow the subjects. Calculations and hard portions are the parts of financial management. Students are not directly involved in the process of finance until they get into a specific job. Another face is illegal use of knowledge in this field. Children are not logical thinkers to make proper decisions regarding highly sophisticated technology and calculations. However, stil I support advantages surge over disadvantages. Basic lessons of finances, are making them easy in participation of further studies. It is a diplomatic change in the field of finance and economy. It helps to avoid tragic errors and feel them hopeful. For example; we learn certain songs in childhood. That we are able to remember when we become adult. Learning theories take part more efficient role in this context. In addition, comprehensive and cognitive behaviour of learning leads to the perfect overall development. It reduces jobless people. it will cause dramatic improvement in the field of business. Minute change in the school curriculum affects all field in the nation development. To site an example; in olden days number of people who indulge in business were less compared to current era. Proper design of the study topics, interesting structure, and minimum content, these all are the general factors makes the topics more interesting. By the way people can learn the subject successfully. Learning topics in the early life is better than overloading the knowledge later. We can hope that, coming generations of financial members has a proper knowledge outfits.
It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role in the
overall
development of the nations. I admit that, education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management should be a mandatory component of the school curriculum. Main aim of this essay is to discuss both views and to draw a conclusion.

Admittedly
, vast study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
and tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capacity of students.
Did you mean "these"?
This
factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel difficult to follow the subjects. Calculations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
portions are the parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management. Students are not
directly
involved in the process of finance until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a specific job. Another face is illegal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of knowledge in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. Children are not logical thinkers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
proper decisions regarding
highly
sophisticated technology and calculations.

However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
stil
I support advantages surge over disadvantages. Basic lessons of finances, are making them easy in participation of
further
studies. It is a diplomatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of finance and economy. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to avoid tragic errors and feel them hopeful.
For example
; we learn certain songs in childhood. That we are able to remember when we become adult.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
theories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
more efficient role in this context.

In addition
, comprehensive and cognitive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
leads to the perfect
overall
development. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
will cause dramatic improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of business. Minute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the school curriculum affects all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in the nation development. To site an example; in olden days number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who indulge in business were less compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era.

Proper design of the study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
, interesting structure, and minimum content, these all are the general factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
more interesting. By the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can learn the subject
successfully
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
in the early life is better than overloading the knowledge later. We can hope that, coming generations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
members has
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "proper knowledge".
a proper knowledge
outfits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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