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Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. with this opinion? v. 2
It is no doubt that these days, the interest of education and health care are becoming increasingly popular. However the question: Should educations and health responsibility be free for all people or not? Is one of the most serious issues today. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and the reasons. In addition, we will see why I partly agree with this trend. The first argument suggests that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing that life facilities, such as education and care of the health, are funded by the government is that they changes our life for being more comfortable. For example, they will help poor people to live an easier life. Another particularly good example, according to a survey in developed countries, averages of death decreased when they made them free. They are also possible to say that they can support society to be successful as they will improve the education and people will be healthier. On the other hand, the second argument is considered an opposing case. It is commonly thought of the fact that free payment may lead to the carelessness of our health. One good illustration, it can encourage adults to drink drugs. People often have this opinion because the bad quality of public education in some developing countries, such as Egypt. In conclusion, we clearly saw that there are no easy answers to these questions. In my opinion, I agree with that government should spend all payments for education and health care because poor people have not enough budgets to pay although we should care about ourselves. If we make a balance, we will change our life for the better.
It is no doubt that these days, the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
are becoming
increasingly
popular.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the question: Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
responsibility be free for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or not? Is one of the most serious issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and the reasons.
In addition
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this trend.

The
first
argument suggests that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
facilities, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
are funded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is that they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "change"
changes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for being more comfortable.
For example
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Another
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example, according to a survey in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, averages of death decreased when they made them free. They are
also
possible to say that they can support society to be successful as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be healthier.

On the other hand
, the second argument
is considered
an opposing case. It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of the fact that free payment may lead to the carelessness of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration, it can encourage adults to drink drugs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, such as Egypt.

In conclusion
, we
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that there are no easy answers to these questions. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend all payments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budgets to pay although we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about ourselves. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a balance, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for the better.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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