Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss bot v.4

Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss bot v. 4
In the modern times, achieving higher qualifications has become a necessity. Owing to this, many of them decide to travel foreign countries for getting admissions in international universities. This tendency may pose difficulties for them yet, it will certainly make them more independent. On one hand, going to new countries will give an upper hand to the students. Firstly, they will get an opportunity to understand the cultures and traditions of that country. In addition, they will also be able to improve their linguistic abilities by communicating with the natives. Secondly, socializing will help them to build a better nexus, which can be further helpful in all the necessary requirements of settling and growing in a new country. Finally, new place makes people more independent and adaptable as they are out of their comfort zone. This will result in students becoming more responsible, which can further help them to achieve success in their future endeavours. To illustrate, it is observed that students who stay abroad are more successful in life. On the other hand, there are some folks who believe that students might face adverse experiences while living in a foreign country. Furthermore, many students have to deal with financial difficulties which may lead them in a crisis situation and they might not be able to achieve the goals of further studies. In conclusion, it is true that going abroad for further studies can hamper the student's life financially. Nevertheless, in my opinion, it is imperative to get an international exposure as it will help with the advancement of their career. Thus, the benefits of studying abroad outscores the financial difficulties faced by students.
In the modern times, achieving higher qualifications has become a necessity. Owing to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them decide to travel foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for getting admissions in international universities. This tendency may pose difficulties for them
yet
, it will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more independent.

On one hand, going to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will give an upper hand to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to understand the cultures and traditions of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
, they will
also
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their linguistic abilities by communicating with the natives.
Secondly
, socializing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to build a better nexus, which can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
helpful in all the necessary requirements of settling and growing in a new country.

Finally
, new place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more independent and adaptable as they are out of their comfort zone. This will result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
becoming more responsible, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve success in their future
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
. To illustrate, it
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who stay abroad are more successful in life.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might face adverse experiences while living in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with financial difficulties which may lead them in a crisis
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
they might not be able to achieve the goals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
studies.

In conclusion
, it is true that going abroad for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
studies can hamper the student's life
financially
.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion, it is imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an international exposure as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the advancement of their career.
Thus
, the benefits of studying abroad outscores the financial difficulties faced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss bot v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts