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Advertising is all around us. It is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Advertising is all around us. It is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. v. 2
Recently, we have experienced the extinction of some languages each year. While some it is believed that this phenomenon have adverse effects on our lives, I advocate that people can reap great benefits from this trend. There are some reasons the disappearance of some languages can reduce the unemployment rate and boost a country’s economy. The first reason is that it creates more job opportunities for citizens. This is because the fewer languages are used, the more chances people can apply to not only local companies but also international companies. Other than that, the reduction in the number of languages spoken in all nations across the globe can facilitate the well-developed economy. The reason is that if a country desires to export products to others, they will have a tendency to employ a translator to make negotiation, which means that when more countries share common languages, not only the expenditure on translators will register a surge but also the exchange of goods between nations can be simplified. Besides, the decline of languages can be a rational way to tackle conflicts between countries involved and accelerate the improvement of oversea tourism industry for some compelling explanations. The reasons to explain the former issue is that linguistic barriers can be a culprit behind misunderstanding. Some positive words in one culture may share the same pronunciation with offensive ones in other countries, which makes listeners think that the speakers are not respecting them and, even worse, sometimes leads to wars. Moreover, the growth in the number of foreign tourists can be attributed to fewer languages used all over the world. To explain, the variety of languages tend to cause people find it difficult to gain thorough insight into customs of other countries and even prejudice, which acts as a deterrent to both visiting and revisiting. All in all, the more languages vanish, the best life we can enjoy.
Recently, we have experienced the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
each year. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it
is believed
that
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "this phenomenon has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this phenomenon have
adverse effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I advocate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can reap great benefits from this trend.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
the disappearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate and boost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it creates more job opportunities for citizens. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, the more chances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can apply to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than that, the reduction in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
spoken in all nations across the globe can facilitate the well-developed economy. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
desires to export products to others, they will have a tendency to employ a translator to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
negotiation, which means that when more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
share common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the expenditure on translators will register a surge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the exchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
between nations can
be simplified
.

Besides
, the decline of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can be a rational way to tackle conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved and accelerate the improvement of oversea tourism industry for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compelling explanations. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the former issue is that linguistic barriers can be a culprit behind misunderstanding.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
words in one culture may share the same pronunciation with offensive ones in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
listeners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the speakers are not respecting them and, even worse,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
leads to wars.
Moreover
, the growth in the number of foreign tourists can
be attributed
to fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
all over the world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
tend to cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it difficult to gain thorough insight into customs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and even prejudice, which acts as a deterrent to both visiting and revisiting.

All in all, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
vanish, the best life we can enjoy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Advertising is all around us. It is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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