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IELTS writing task 1The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v.1

IELTS writing task 1The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 1
In this highly competitive era, international languages have become very significant in order to carry out multinational business. Some individuals argue that to learn a foreign language is essential for the purpose such as travelling and working into another nation whereas others perspective towards another various reasons. Withstanding, I certainly vote for the former group. Thus, both the views will be analysed in the following paragraph before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. To commence with, there are ample of reasons why people have a fascination to learn foreign dialect for travel and work. Firstly, when a person wants to migrate at abroad and will be doing a job over there, he has to learn language which is used in a nation where he is going to settle down. In a resulting, he or she can communicate comfortably with notions of that place as well as with colleagues and will not suffer from isolation as he or she familiar with that sound. Secondly, the people who are immigrated can not face major difficulty to survive in different countries. For instance, if the Indians want to settle in Canada then they must learn french and English languages as it is widely spot there. On the flip side, there are another myriad factors which are also crucial for knowing several foreign languages. First and foremost, in own country, the person who is hired as a translator in one multinational organisation has to know more than one vocabulary as its his or her job. Exemplify, in India, employer has to explain the whole presentation in English to the people who come from other MNC of various nations. Conclusively, although learning a foreign language is required for migration and settle down at abroad yet, I would say it is rather essential for other reasons like job of translator in highly qualified company in one's own country.
In this
highly
competitive era, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant in order to carry out multinational business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals argue that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is essential for the purpose such as travelling and working into another nation whereas others perspective towards another various reasons. Withstanding, I
certainly
vote for the former group.
Thus
, both the views will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in the following paragraph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

To commence with, there are ample of reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a fascination to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
dialect for travel and work.
Firstly
, when a person wants to migrate at abroad and will be doing a job over there, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a nation where he is going to settle down. In a resulting, he or she can communicate
comfortably
with notions of that place
as well
as with colleagues and will not suffer from isolation as he or
It seems that a verb is missing after "she". Please verify.
she
familiar with that sound.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are immigrated
can not face major difficulty to survive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
For instance
, if the Indians want to settle in Canada then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
and English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as it is
widely
spot there.

On the flip side, there are another myriad factors which are
also
crucial for knowing several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
First
and foremost, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country, the person who
is hired
as a translator in one multinational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know more than one vocabulary as
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
job. Exemplify, in India, employer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the whole presentation in English to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from other
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNC
of various nations.

Conclusively
, although learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is required
for migration and settle down at abroad
yet
, I would say it is
rather
essential for other reasons like job of translator in
highly
qualified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay IELTS writing task 1The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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