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Some people say the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal on public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion. v.1

Some people say the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal on public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. v. 1
The habit of smoking is a personal choice for adults. However, smoking publicly has been frowned at. While a few people think creating laws against public smoking is enough to stop the act, others believe there should be alternative methods for this and i stand with the latter opinion. On one hand, if a policy is made against smoking in an open place, many people will abide by the rule. This should be strongly backed up with penalties for defaulters. These penalties may include a fine, a few days detention or forced rehabilitation. Drinking bars and lounges should be obligated to have this notice placed in strategic positions in and round their business places, to remind their customers that smoking is not allowed. Nevertheless, other methods can be used to increase awareness, as well as foster adherence to the no-public-smoking rule. Higher institutions and religious houses can offer counselling sections for smoking addicts, and classes to teach health, self value, and respect for other people. This will make people understand the health dangers of smoking, for both the smoker and the people around the smoker. The government can also hike the price of cigarettes, to discourage its purchase. Continuous awareness should be given to the masses by the government. For example, frequent announcement on all media platforms. All of these methods will increase the probability of eradicating public smoking. In conclusion, I believe that even though illegalising public smoking can reduce people's indulgence in it, it is not a strong enough factor to totally eradicate this behaviour. Therefore, other ways such advertisements, counselling from universities, as well as religious homes, etc. Should be included to ensure a better result.
The habit of
smoking
is a personal choice for adults.
However
,
smoking
publicly
has
been frowned
at. While a few
people
think
creating laws against public
smoking
is
enough
to
stop
the act, others believe there should be alternative methods for this and
i
stand with the latter opinion.

On one hand, if a policy
is made
against
smoking
in an open place,
many
people
will abide by the
rule
. This should be
strongly
backed up with penalties for defaulters. These penalties may include a fine, a few days detention or forced rehabilitation. Drinking bars and lounges should
be obligated
to have this notice placed in strategic positions in and round their business places, to remind their customers that
smoking
is not
allowed
.

Nevertheless
,
other
methods can be
used
to increase awareness,
as well
as foster adherence to the no-public-smoking
rule
. Higher institutions and religious
houses
can offer counselling sections for
smoking
addicts, and classes to teach health, self value, and respect for
other
people
. This will
make
people
understand the health
dangers
of
smoking
, for both the smoker and the
people
around the smoker. The
government
can
also
hike the price of cigarettes, to discourage its
purchase
. Continuous awareness should be
given
to the masses by the
government
.
For example
, frequent announcement on all media platforms. All of these methods will increase the probability of eradicating public smoking.

In conclusion
, I believe that
even though
illegalising
public
smoking
can
reduce
people
's indulgence in it, it is not a strong
enough
factor to
totally
eradicate this
behaviour
.
Therefore
,
other
ways such advertisements, counselling from universities,
as well
as religious homes, etc. Should
be included
to ensure a better result.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal on public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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