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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 4
People have different opinions about whether it is the responsibility of parents to teach children good manners to make them a better societal member or the school could be an adequate place to learn such things. This easy will discuss about both these views on this contentious topic, followed by my own take on this matter. On the one hand, people underscoring the importance of parents’ role in making their children a good member of society assert that parents are the first teachers for their offspring. During the initial years of a child, they teach him all the basic traits such as respect, honesty, obedience and so on. Learning certain things from parents definitely assist children in building a good personality, and developing certain characteristics and principles in life that makes them a good social person. Moreover, parents act as a role model for children and they always welcome their guidance and like to walk on their footprints. In addition, parents usually know about all the likes and dislikes of their children and teach them everything accordingly. On the other hand, due to the hectic work schedule of parents, they have no sufficient time to guide their children. Then it becomes the duty of the schools to teach children everything for developing life skills. As children spent most of their daytime hours in school they could learn effectively along with some practical knowledge. For example, in schools nowadays, many volunteering sessions are organized to teach children to help the community. Participating in these events certainly assist them in learning discipline, improving communicational skills and thinking about social responsibility. In addition, these qualities and community work experience make a positive impact in their career prospects. In conclusion, it can be said that both parents and schools have equal role in developing personality and good social traits in children. It is unjustifiable to consider only one side to make children a better member of society, because both have their own significance and own way of teaching.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about whether it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them a better societal member or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could be an adequate place to learn such things. This easy will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
these views on this contentious topic, followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
take on this matter.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
underscoring the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
role in making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
teachers for their offspring. During the initial years of a child, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
him all the basic traits such as respect, honesty, obedience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Learning certain things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
definitely assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
personality, and developing certain characteristics and principles in life that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
social person.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
act as a role model for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they always welcome their guidance and like to walk on their footprints.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
usually
know about all the likes and dislikes of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them everything
accordingly
.

On the other hand
, due to the hectic work schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they have no sufficient time to guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Then it becomes the duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
everything for developing life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent most of their daytime hours in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they could learn
effectively
along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical knowledge.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
volunteering sessions
are organized
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community. Participating in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
certainly
assist them in learning discipline, improving
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and thinking about social responsibility.
In addition
, these qualities and community work experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in their career prospects.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have equal role in developing personality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
social traits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is unjustifiable to consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one side to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a better member of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way of teaching.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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