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Earlier, people wore cloths which were related to their culture but now people people wear the same type of cloths all over the world. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

The way in which people in the past used to wear clothes was based on their culture; however, nowadays, people tend to put on attires that are look like together, which, in turn, lead to they all looked the same. In my opinion, this trend cab be both advantageous and problematic. It is easy to realize why putting on dresses in the same way have merits for residents. First of all, there are dress codes and limitations in some place of cities, which all citizens should conform with that regulations. Many conventional attires are not suited with this places. Some universities, for example, have determined wearing long sleeved clothes for girls. Nevertheless, there are some traditional clothes that not cover the hand of girls enough. Moreover, this culture is not accepted by many people or may be considered as an inferior way of clothing. As a result, the one who has weared a traditional cloth may be exposed to the bully or derogatory remarks such as rustic! It is therefore for the sake of people to assimilate with communication in terms of type of cloth. On the other hand, having dress diversity indicate culture and identity of a specific place. Every year many tourist decide to take a trip to different part of a city because of new attractive options that catch their eyes about a city and dress diversity is one of them. If all people of different cities dress similar, there would not be any distinctive and eye-catching between them. In addition, the identity of many people is ruined when they wear the same. This action took by last governor of Iran in order to disrupt his people culture and unify them. In conclusion, I think wearing the same have both positive and negative aspects. This trend may bring immunity for citizens but they should be sober about the degradation of their culture diversity which is rooted in cloth diversity.
The way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
was based
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
;
however
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to put on attires that are look like together, which, in turn, lead to they all looked the same. In my opinion, this trend
Did you mean the modal verb “can”?
cab
be both advantageous and problematic.

It is easy to realize why putting on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
in the same way
have merits for residents.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
codes and limitations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which all citizens should conform with that regulations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
conventional attires are not suited with
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘places’. Did you mean “these”?
this
places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
universities,
for example
, have determined wearing long sleeved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
for girls.
Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
that not cover the hand of girls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or may
be considered
as an inferior way of clothing.
As a result
, the one who has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “wore”, the past tense form of the verb ‘wear’?
weared
a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
may
be exposed
to the bully or derogatory remarks such as rustic! It is
therefore
for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to assimilate with communication in terms of type of cloth.

On the other hand
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
indicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and identity of a specific place. Every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist decide to take a trip to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of a city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of new attractive options that catch their eyes about a city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
is one of them. If all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
similar, there would not be any distinctive and eye-catching between them.
In addition
, the identity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is ruined
when they wear the same. This action took by last governor of Iran in order to disrupt his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and unify them.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wearing the same have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. This trend may bring immunity for citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should be sober about the degradation of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
which
is rooted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
.
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IELTS essay Earlier, People wore clothes which were related to their culture but now people wear the same type of clothes all over the world. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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