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There is a disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between countries on a country's identity. What is your opinion? v.1

There is a disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between countries on a country's identity. What is your opinion? v. 1
One of the most conspicuous trends in the 21st century is a closer connection between countries, in both economic and cultural aspects. There is a widespread worry that this will lead to the gradual demise of countries' identities. This issue should be viewed and analysed from multiple perspectives. When a country tends to develop a closer relationship with the rest of the world, it does not necessarily give up its culture. Culture is not a disgrace to but an asset of a country. An indigenous culture can distinguish one country from others, attracting foreign visitors and yielding high income. As most tourists travel abroad for learning different cultures and sampling different ways of life, such as Beijing opera in China. Japanese tea culture and Thai temples, many countries have responded by protecting and preserving their cultural identities, in an effort to keep themselves in the list of the most popular destinations. Increased tourism instils fresh life force into these countries, aiding the conservation of their features. While tourism provides a driving force for cultural conversation, some components of a culture, such as traditions, customs or taboos might die out over time. It seems that in some countries, the locals have become more accustomed to exotic cultures. It reflects the combined effects of the invasion of foreign cultures, either through media or through direct business interaction. For example, two decades ago, sex was a taboo subject in China and most Chinese people felt embarrassed to talk openly about it. Over time the Western culture has permeated into the Chinese lifestyle, and the Chinese people have broken many of their time-honoured traditions. It occurs in the rest of the world as well. As outlined above, increased interaction between countries in the domains of business and culture can either strengthen or undermine the identities of the countries involved. To date, there is no definite answer to this question.
One of the most conspicuous trends in the 21st century is a closer
connection between
countries
, in both economic and cultural aspects. There is a widespread worry that this will lead to the gradual demise of countries' identities. This issue should
be viewed
and
analysed
from multiple perspectives.

When a
country
tends to develop a closer relationship with the rest of the world, it does not
necessarily
give up its
culture
.
Culture
is not a disgrace to
but
an asset of a
country
. An indigenous
culture
can distinguish one
country
from others, attracting foreign visitors and yielding high income. As most tourists travel abroad for learning
different
cultures
and sampling
different
ways of life, such as Beijing opera in China. Japanese tea
culture
and Thai temples,
many
countries
have responded by protecting and preserving their cultural identities, in an effort to
keep
themselves in the list of the most popular destinations. Increased tourism
instils
fresh life force into these
countries
, aiding the conservation of their features.

While tourism provides a driving force for cultural conversation,
some
components of a
culture
, such as traditions, customs or taboos might
die
out over time. It seems that in
some
countries
, the locals have become more accustomed to exotic
cultures
. It reflects the combined effects of the invasion of foreign
cultures
, either through media or through direct business interaction.
For example
, two decades ago, sex was a taboo subject in China and most Chinese
people
felt embarrassed to talk
openly
about it. Over time the Western
culture
has permeated into the Chinese lifestyle, and the Chinese
people
have broken
many
of their
time-honoured
traditions. It occurs in the rest of the world
as well
.

As outlined above, increased interaction between
countries
in the domains of business and
culture
can either strengthen or undermine the identities of the
countries
involved. To date, there is no
definite
answer to this question.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay There is a disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between countries on a country's identity. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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