Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v.6

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 6
Year on year statistics are published illustrating increasing crime levels. There is no singular known cause of criminal activity, but in general it can be correlated to social, economic and educational factors. These factors are not mutually independent. In turn, the prevention of criminal activity can be enhanced by addressing these three key factors. Through the essay each one of these factors will be addressed, stating why they cause an increase of crime and in turn how they can be used to mitigate crime. Social factors cover a wide range of aspects. This includes upbringing, home environment as well as any mental issues that lead to antisocial behaviour. For example, an individual that is raised in a home environment where respect for other individuals is not a high valued trait, will in turn, not have respect for other people or their belongings. This mindset may lead to an increased willingness to commit crimes as the impact on someone else is not of importance. On the other hand, an individual raised with mutual respect and empathy will be more cognizant of how their actions affect others. Economic conditions are the most basic of the factors that influence the crime rate. If people are desperate for money, just to get by day to day, the lure of criminal activity will always be there. With criminal activity there is the attraction of "easy money" but this always comes with a high risk to the perpetrator as well as the public. Some individuals commit crime besides being in a relatively good economic condition, however, this issue will not be addressed in this essay. By ensuring the people who are in desperate need of assistance are looked after, the temptation to commit crime will be reduced. Education is the key to nearly all the issues the plague society. An individual who has the opportunity to get a good education potentially becomes an individual that can be employed. Education also provides a secondary opportunity to teach people social skills their home life may be missing. It is a well established fact that people who do not have a basic education are more likely to commit crime and be unemployed. Improving the basic education system will create more opportunities for more people to avoid criminal activity. In conclusion, crime is something that can never be eradicated from society but it can be reduced. The three main factors that are causing crime are social, economic and educational. These factors are interdependent and the only way to reduce or prevent the rise of criminal activity is to ensure all these factors are addressed through the basic needs of an individual.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Year on year
statistics
are published
illustrating increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
levels. There is no
Make sure that the adjective 'singular' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'known'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
singular known
cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in general
it can
be correlated
to social, economic and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are not
mutually
independent. In turn, the prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
can
be enhanced
by addressing these three key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. Through the essay each one of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
will
be addressed
, stating why they cause an increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and in turn how they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to mitigate crime.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
cover a wide range of aspects. This includes upbringing, home environment
as well
as any mental issues that lead to antisocial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For example
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
that
is raised
in a home environment where respect for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
is not a high valued trait, will in turn, not have respect for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or their belongings. This mindset may lead to an increased willingness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as the impact on someone else is not of importance.
On the other hand
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
raised with mutual respect and empathy will be more cognizant of how their actions affect others.

Economic conditions are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are desperate for money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by day to day, the lure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
will always be there. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
there is the attraction of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
easy money
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the perpetrator
as well
as the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
besides
being in a
relatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
economic condition,
however
, this issue will not
be addressed
in this essay. By ensuring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in desperate need of assistance
are looked
after, the temptation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Education is the key to
nearly
all the issues the plague society. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
who has the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
potentially
becomes an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
that can
be employed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
also
provides a secondary opportunity to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
their home life may be missing. It is a well established fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
be unemployed
. Improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system will create more opportunities for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is something that can never
be eradicated
from society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

The three main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that are causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are social, economic and educational. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are interdependent and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is to ensure all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are addressed
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
441 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts