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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

As a result of the growth of supermarkets in some countries, many local businesses have died out. Some people argue that without local business, local residents will not exist. In my opinion, even though the small business are left out, provincial enterprises are an advantageous option for the community, and it gives more opportunities to small businesses to develop. To commence with, supermarkets offer a considerable quality and quantity of products. First of all, the government of a nation arranges funds for the production and consumption of goods to the supermarkets, which hand over a large quantity and satisfying quality of supplies. This can be exemplified by the rapid growth of China cotton supplies, which is funded by the other territories. China has ranked number one in the cotton manufacturing, although Pakistan has the origin of cotton plants. The areas which will be funded properly by authorities will outcome in valuable production of the items. Therefore, supermarkets establishment are a convenient way for people to get daily supplies. Next, small-scaled employments perhaps be opportune by the supermarkets. Local businesses conceivably sign-up for contracts of supplies to the supermarkets of food and furniture. Moreover, government will be implementing them with essential materials, so they can produce goods for the enterprises. This could be an advantageous job opportunity for small business employers, and they will not disgrace the opening of supermarkets. Thus, supermarkets are a beneficial choice in a few nations. Furthermore, supermarkets are considered a holistic shopping center. It is suitable for shoppers to purchase all materials from one place instead of visiting to a numerous store. To illustrate, Reliance stores in India have occupied the small-scaled businesses, however it makes individuals lives easier to shop from a single shop as well as provide residents with a large variety of stock. Hence, superstores are not taking over small enterprises, but giving more reliable option for citizens to make. In conclusion, the number of supermarkets are rising rapidly in several nations, and the small businesses are shrinking. However, superstores have produced considerable quality and high quantity of products, as well as increase in job opportunities have been observed for small businesses. Apart from this, residents frequently believed that supermarkets are a convenient and easy method to go shopping.
As a result
of the growth of supermarkets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents will not exist. In my opinion,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out, provincial enterprises are an advantageous option for the community, and it gives more opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to develop.

To commence with, supermarkets offer a considerable quality and quantity of products.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a nation arranges funds for the production and consumption of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to the supermarkets, which hand over a large quantity and satisfying quality of supplies. This can
be exemplified
by the rapid growth of China cotton supplies, which
is funded
by the other territories. China has ranked number one in the cotton manufacturing, although Pakistan has the origin of cotton plants. The areas which will
be funded
properly
by authorities will outcome in valuable production of the items.
Therefore
, supermarkets establishment are a convenient way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
daily supplies.
Next
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scaled employments perhaps be opportune by the supermarkets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
conceivably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
-up for contracts of supplies to the supermarkets of food and furniture.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will be implementing them with essential materials,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for the enterprises. This could be an advantageous job opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
employers, and they will not disgrace the opening of supermarkets.
Thus
, supermarkets are a beneficial choice in a few nations.

Furthermore
, supermarkets
are considered
a holistic shopping center. It is suitable for shoppers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
all materials from one place
instead
of visiting to a numerous store. To illustrate, Reliance stores in India have occupied the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scaled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
,
however
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier to shop from a single shop
as well
as provide residents with a large variety of stock.
Hence
, superstores are not taking over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
enterprises,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving more reliable option for citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.

In conclusion
, the number of supermarkets are rising
rapidly
in several nations, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are shrinking.
However
, superstores have produced considerable quality and high quantity of products,
as well
as increase in job opportunities have
been observed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. Apart from this, residents
frequently
believed that supermarkets are a convenient and easy method to go shopping.
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He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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