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Globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion v.5

Globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. 5
It is true that owing to technology development world become smaller and smaller day by day. It leads to globalisation throughout the universe. Although, there are pros and cons to globalize the countries, in my opinion, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. In the one hand, there are several benefits for the globalisation. Firstly, developed countries can outsource their production to poorer countries to make lower final prices. For example, majority of famous car manufacturer such as TOYOTA, outsource the whole car manufacturing or some parts of the car to other countries. Apart from the customers which can purchase the goods cheaper, a great deal of job opportunity creates in poorer countries. Secondly, people from poorer countries can migrate to the developed countries for work and study, which help to reduce the rate of unemployment. Finally, by globalisation, crises like diseases and other international problems can be overcome easily. On the other hand, even though, there are several benefits in regard to globalization, there are still many drawbacks. While outsourcing is beneficial for the poorer countries, they may lose their resources easy and cheap. For instance, they may use their underground resources to produce materials at a very low price. In addition, big corporations may exploit cheap workers without considering their rights. Moreover, migration from poor countries to the rich one lead to lack of qualified and experienced worker in the origin countries. In conclusion, however, globalization is beneficial and disadvantageous for all countries and people, in my opinion, the merits far outweigh the drawbacks.
It is true that owing to technology development world become smaller and smaller day by day. It leads to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
throughout the universe. Although, there are pros and cons to globalize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, in my opinion, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

In the one hand, there are several benefits for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
Firstly
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can outsource their production to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lower final prices.
For example
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
car manufacturer such as TOYOTA, outsource the whole car manufacturing or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the car to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Apart from the customers which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
cheaper, a great deal of job opportunity creates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can migrate to the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for work and study, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate of unemployment.
Finally
, by
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, crises like diseases and other international problems can
be overcome
easily
.

On the other hand
,
even though
, there are several benefits in regard to
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalization' and 'globalisation') within a single text.
globalization
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks. While outsourcing is beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they may lose their resources easy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
For instance
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their underground resources to produce materials at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low price.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporations may exploit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
workers without considering their rights.
Moreover
, migration from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to the rich one lead to lack of qualified and experienced worker in the origin countries.

In conclusion
,
however
,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalization' and 'globalisation') within a single text.
globalization
is beneficial and disadvantageous for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, in my opinion, the merits far outweigh the drawbacks.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Globalisation has both advantages and disadvantages. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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