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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? ielts mentor v.4

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. ielts mentor v. 4
The exponential growth of supermarkets and big businesses has a negative effect on small ones. Consequently, many believe that the growing number of market chains can be the demise of local communities. I strongly believe that it is true that with every small business closing its door there is a disadvantage for our communities. From coffee shops to local laundries and beyond, small businesses contribute to a community’s image. In fact, each local community is known for its local shops and small businesses, which stood the test of time and every resident knows about it or its owner. That is why; the ever-growing growth of big businesses limits the preservation of communities’ identities. Not only that, but also, this trend has many other drawbacks. Small business owners are an important part of the community in which they live and work. Thus, they tend to recognize how their decisions affect their neighbours. In addition, local small business entrepreneurs tend to be involved in the community. For instance, they may sponsor local Little League teams, donate to the city’s homeless shelter, join the chamber of commerce, participate in community charity events, or contribute to a local non-profit organization. It is also not unheard of for successful business owners to guest lecture at the local community college, technical institute, or small business centre. Thus eliminating small businesses leads to the suffering of the communities. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the closure of regional shops may affect the local population negatively and threaten their existence.
The exponential growth of supermarkets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
ones.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the growing number of market chains can be the demise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. I
strongly
believe that it is true that with every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
closing its door there is a disadvantage for our communities.

From coffee shops to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
laundries and beyond,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
contribute to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community’s
image. In fact, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is known
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, which stood the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
of time and every resident knows about it or its owner.
That is
why; the ever-growing growth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
limits the preservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities’
identities.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work.
Thus
, they tend to recognize how their decisions affect their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
entrepreneurs tend to
be involved
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
For instance
, they may sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Little
League teams, donate to the city’s homeless shelter,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the chamber of commerce, participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, or contribute to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
non-profit organization. It is
also
not unheard of for successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners to guest lecture at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
college, technical institute, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
Thus
eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
leads to the suffering of the communities.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that the closure of regional shops may affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
population
negatively
and threaten their existence.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. ielts mentor v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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