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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 6
Supermarkets are a conspicuous trend which is essential towards a country's growth and development. While some people believe that supermarkets should be embraced, others argue that it has enormous negative developments. Personally, I agree that such an event will be deleterious to the effect of many local communities. This essay will expatiate on the above said viewpoint in detail in the below mentioned paragraphs. Firstly, malls provides all goods under one roof, which is a pertinent point to consider. As the busy bodies go to such a place they are able to access a wide range of articles and products within a limited area. For an example, in the earlier days, individuals used to visit various shops for different products, but nowadays most of people prefer to visit big shopping centres. Consequently, people do not prefer to visit small shops, resulting in lower revenue for them. Secondly, the shopping centres offer coupons and discounts which allures the customers a lot, which proves to be very competitive for the local communities. For instance, in a survey conducted by a media channel, 89% of the local shopkeepers agree that they are not able to run the business because of heavy operational cost and not able to offer discounts, as such. As a result, the sales of local businesses and results in their downfall. In conclusion, the local communities are an inevitable part of our society. I agree, although, malls are beneficial for various reasons, small shops play a vital role in the development of the domestic provinces. The government should make its attempt to encourage such small traders to perform in the best way possible.
Supermarkets are a conspicuous trend which is essential towards a country's growth and development. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that supermarkets should
be embraced
, others argue that it has enormous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
will be deleterious to the effect of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities. This essay will expatiate on the above said viewpoint in detail in the below mentioned paragraphs.

Firstly
, malls provides all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
under one roof, which is a pertinent point to consider. As the busy bodies go to such a place they are able to access a wide range of articles and products within a limited area. For an example, in the earlier days, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to visit various shops for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not prefer to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops, resulting in lower revenue for them.

Secondly
, the shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
offer coupons and discounts which allures the customers a lot, which proves to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities.
For instance
, in a survey conducted by a media channel, 89% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shopkeepers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they are not able to run the business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heavy operational cost and not able to offer discounts, as such.
As a result
, the sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses and results in their downfall.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities are an inevitable part of our society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, although, malls are beneficial for various reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops play a vital role in the development of the domestic provinces. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
its attempt to encourage such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
traders to perform in the best way possible.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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