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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

In recent years, chain stores are built in rapid speed and are dominating the market, this leads to the closure of the majority of small local shops. And certain people argue that this will lead to the extinction and nonexistence of local communities. I agree to some extent with this view because while super stores are creating job opportunities to the community as it would be otherwise obsolete, they are hindering and creating obstacles for local farmers to market their products. The rapid growth of supermarkets has led to a higher employment rate. For instance, Spinneys, a huge mega store in Lebanon currently employs around 5000 people in all of its branches all over Lebanon. This ensures the revival of local communities, as a large percentage of the youth would have migrated to the city searching for job opportunities. Another reason, why the development of these chain stores has a positive effect on the nation is the economic boost it provides. For example, the construction of big supermarkets in rural areas such as Carrefour that was built near South of the border have created traffic in terms of financial gains because as customers in surrounding areas gravitated toward this store, they in turn explored the town and purchased traditional items available at these local shops. This supports the idea that the expansion of supermarkets is a positive outcome. However, a downside to the rapid growth of these large chains, is that it creates roadblocks for farmers from being able to sell their produce they were previously able to sell them to small shops and were able to provide the quota needed. Though, this is no longer the case as these local farmers cannot replenish these big stores at the rapid pace that is needed. In conclusion, from my point of view the advantages of the existence of super stores far exceeds its disadvantages. However, steps must be taken to support local shops by creating other opportunities to sustain their businesses.
In recent years, chain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are built
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
speed and are dominating the market, this leads to the closure of the majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. And certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this will lead to the extinction and nonexistence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
while super
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are creating job opportunities to the community as it would be
otherwise
obsolete, they are hindering and creating obstacles for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers to market their products.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
growth of supermarkets has led to a higher employment rate.
For instance
, Spinneys, a huge mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
in Lebanon
currently
employs around 5000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in all of its branches all over Lebanon. This ensures the revival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities, as a large percentage of the youth would have migrated to the city searching for job opportunities.

Another reason, why the development of these chain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the nation is the economic boost it provides.
For example
, the construction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
supermarkets in rural areas such as Carrefour that
was built
near South of the border have created traffic in terms of financial gains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as customers in surrounding areas gravitated toward this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, they in turn explored the town and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
traditional items available at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. This supports the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the expansion of supermarkets is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome.

However
, a downside to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
growth of these large chains, is that it creates roadblocks for farmers from being able to sell their produce they were previously able to sell them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and were able to provide the quota needed. Though, this is no longer the case as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers cannot replenish these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rapid
pace that
is needed
.

In conclusion
, from my point of view the advantages of the existence of super
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
far exceeds its disadvantages.
However
, steps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
by creating other opportunities to sustain their businesses.
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One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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