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Cultures all around world have become more similar than they used to be. What are reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative? v.1

Cultures all around world have become more similar than they used to be. What are reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative? v. 1
Nowadays, in comparison to decades ago, modern art, music and literature are likely to look alike throughout the globe. This essay will discuss further the reasons and my personal opinion of this behaviour. There are 2 main reasons that play a huge part in cultural resemblance, which are technology and immigration. Firstly, advanced technology such as the internet, has brought the world closer than ever. Online platforms like Twitter, Facebook or YouTube, has allowed people of different backgrounds to introduce their cultures for other people to learn. Moreover, the increase in migration allows society to learn varieties of cultures from the immigrants. Society are now likely to immigrate to other countries to learn about their history and to introduce their backgrounds to them. Therefore, the advancement of technology and migration have allowed cultural resemblance to increase around the world. According to ‘The Economist’ magazine, the rise in cultures resemblance has brought negativity towards worldwide countries. This is because people can easily copy traditional arts and make money out of it. For instance, when India introduced their ‘Sari’ outfit, the westerners copied their top clothes, which is now called crop-top, and sold millions of that type of clothing styles, without crediting the ‘Sari’ outfit. Hence, in my opinion, cultural similarity brings a negative impact, as it mostly disadvantages the traditional countries. In conclusion, although the internet and immigration have caused the increase in cultural similarity, it generally causes difficulties to the origin countries. In my opinion, I believe that society should not copy the cultures, as it should be distinct and unique.
Nowadays,
in comparison
to decades ago, modern art, music and literature are likely to look alike throughout the globe. This essay will discuss
further
the reasons and my personal opinion of this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

There are 2 main reasons that play a huge part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
resemblance, which are technology and immigration.
Firstly
, advanced technology such as the internet, has brought the world closer than ever. Online platforms like Twitter, Facebook or YouTube, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds to introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to learn.
Moreover
, the increase in migration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
society to learn varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
from the immigrants. Society
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
likely to immigrate to other countries to learn about their history and to introduce their backgrounds to them.
Therefore
, the advancement of technology and migration have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
resemblance to increase around the world.

According to ‘The Economist’ magazine, the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
resemblance has brought negativity towards worldwide countries. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
copy traditional arts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money out of it.
For instance
, when India introduced their ‘Sari’ outfit, the westerners copied their top clothes, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
called crop-top, and sold millions of that type of clothing styles, without crediting the ‘Sari’ outfit.
Hence
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
similarity brings a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact, as it
mostly
disadvantages the traditional countries.

In conclusion
, although the internet and immigration have caused the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
similarity, it
generally
causes difficulties to the origin countries. In my opinion, I believe that society should not copy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, as it should be distinct and unique.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Cultures all around world have become more similar than they used to be. What are reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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