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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Business plays an imperative role in today's era. Nowadays, numerous small and local business are extincting due to domination of supermarket in some countries. Some individuals think that by closure of small communities business death of local business is ensured. I partly agree with this statement and this essay will discuss the reasons to substantiate it in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are several merits of expansion of supermarkets in every region. First and foremost, employment rate will increase with increasing number of supermarket. With these markets, local businessman whose profit is uncertain would give preference to get employment in supermarket. For instance, sometimes due to downfall of small business, people can be goes through poverty, but supermarket could be a safest side for them. Furthermore, local communities business can be grow more with a plethora of supermarkets in region because of inflation in supermarkets. People alway want to get things on lower rate, which are alway available in local communities vendors. Therefore, by this way local business will become more profitable. Nevertheless, local community businessman could be died due to suffer from loss. Chiefly, supermarkets will persuade customers with providing offers and discounts on various items. By these offers, small businessman would not able to compete them in business. therefore, at the end these source of earning small business will submerge. To recapitulate, it can be concluded that although small business could suffer loss, but employment rate could also be increased for local communities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
plays an imperative role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era. Nowadays, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are extincting due to domination of supermarket in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is ensured
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and this essay will discuss the reasons to substantiate it in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are several merits of expansion of supermarkets in every region.
First
and foremost, employment rate will increase with increasing number of supermarket. With these markets,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businessman whose profit is uncertain would give preference to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment in supermarket.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
due to downfall of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be goes through poverty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
supermarket could be
Use “the” with the superlative.
a
safest side for them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can be
Consider using the past participle “grown”.
grow
more with a plethora of supermarkets in region
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inflation in supermarkets.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
Possible spelling mistake found.
alway
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
things on lower rate, which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
alway
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
vendors.
Therefore
, by this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will become more profitable.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
businessman could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
due to suffer from loss.
Chiefly
, supermarkets will persuade customers with providing offers and discounts on various items. By these offers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
businessman would not able to compete them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
therefore
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
these source of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will submerge. To recapitulate, it can
be concluded
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
could suffer loss,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
employment rate could
also
be increased
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
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IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some country, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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