Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
In the modern world, it is possible for a person to gain popularity overnight, due to availability of television and an online media. This situation has some benefits, but it also has some strong negative effects, which I believe are more serious than the positive ones. On the one side, there are some benefits of getting famous on television and the internet. Firstly, it aids people to earn a huge wealth. That is to say, a majority of youtubers are making millions of US dollars yearly because their followers like watching and sharing their videos and for every view, they are making money. Secondly, it helps them to make international followers. In other words, famous celebrities have huge fan following, not only from their own country, but people from all over the world offers them love and support. For instance, Amitabh Bachan, an Indian Bollowood Actor, has hundreds of followers sitting in every country, resulting in his global publicity. On the other hand, being famous on TV and the online media can have severe negative impacts. Because the internet and TV are accessible to everyone and if media posts the personal information of TV Celebrities, it can spread very quickly, resulting in people lose their privacy. To exemplify, according to the Times of New York, Justin Bieber does not like media interviews because he believes media is making money by showcasing the personal life of celebrities. Furthermore, sarcastic people sometimes hurt the TV stars on their wrong actions, which further leads to violence in the society, followed by mini wars. To conclude, although the internet and television can bring a fortune for people by offering them a huge wealth and the followers. However, I believe the negative effects such as privacy loss and violence in the society are far more important to consider.
In the modern world, it is possible for a person to gain popularity overnight, due to availability of television and an online
media
. This situation has
some
benefits,
but
it
also
has
some
strong
negative
effects, which I believe are more serious than the
positive
ones.

On the one side, there are
some
benefits of getting
famous
on television and the internet.
Firstly
, it aids
people
to earn a huge wealth.
That is
to say, a majority of
youtubers
are making millions of US dollars yearly
because
their
followers
like watching and sharing their videos and for every view, they are making money.
Secondly
, it
helps
them to
make
international
followers
.
In other words
,
famous celebrities
have huge fan following, not
only
from their
own
country,
but
people
from all over the world offers them
love
and support.
For instance
,
Amitabh
Bachan
, an Indian
Bollowood
Actor, has hundreds of
followers
sitting in every country, resulting in his global publicity.

On the other hand
, being
famous
on TV and the online
media
can have severe
negative
impacts.
Because
the internet and TV are accessible to everyone and if
media
posts the personal information of TV Celebrities, it can spread
very
quickly
, resulting in
people
lose their privacy. To exemplify, according to the Times of New York, Justin Bieber does not like
media
interviews
because
he believes
media
is making money by showcasing the personal life of celebrities.
Furthermore
, sarcastic
people
sometimes
hurt the TV stars on their
wrong
actions, which
further
leads to violence in the society, followed by mini wars.

To conclude
, although the internet and television can bring a fortune for
people
by offering them a huge wealth and the
followers
.
However
, I believe the
negative
effects such as privacy loss and violence in the society are far more
important
to consider.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Due to television and the internet it is easier today for a large number of people to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts