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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1) v. 257 v.17

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1) v. 257 v. 17
Although it is sometimes thought that making activities, fun for kids improves their skills and creative abilities, there are arguments that reading might be preferred. In my opinion, I consider that children's ability to be creative and advanced in skills can be achieved successfully when they enjoy the activity. On the one hand, involving games often lead to improvement in skills and creativity in young ones and I agree. For example, there was a toddler, who started reading A-Z when he turned one, the baby learnt by watching DVDs and identifying his colours, alphabets and sing rhymes without being read to. When kids have fun learning they tend to grasp and improve on their skills. In other words, it also makes tasks easier to remember and more interesting. Enjoying activities while learning kick-starts the improvement of skills and abilities children need as they grow. On the other hand, it is often believed that reading is another option for improving skills and creativity in children. For Instance, recent studies have shown that only reading should not be relied upon when boosting children's competence. Notwithstanding, as much as reading helps develop vocabulary, I think the focus on reading should depend on the age of the kid. In other words, teenagers should read more rather than young children as they tend to pay attention and understand better. In conclusion, Opinions may vary about which method is more beneficial in terms of advancement in skills and creativity for children. I think including entertaining activities a child enjoys, toddlers in particular, help build their skills and develop their ingenuity better than reading. Lastly, the age of the child determines it all.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that making activities, fun for kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creative abilities, there are arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
might
be preferred
. In my opinion, I consider that children's ability to be creative and advanced in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
be achieved
successfully
when they enjoy the activity.

On the one hand, involving games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creativity in young ones and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
For example
, there was a toddler, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
A-Z when he turned one, the baby
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by watching DVDs and identifying his
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, alphabets and sing rhymes without
being read
to. When kids have fun learning they tend to grasp and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
In other words
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
tasks easier to remember and more interesting. Enjoying activities while learning kick-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and abilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need as they grow.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is another option for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creativity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For Instance
, recent studies have shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
should not
be relied
upon when boosting children's competence. Notwithstanding, as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
develop vocabulary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
should depend on the age of the kid.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should read more
rather
than young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they tend to pay attention and understand better.

In conclusion
, Opinions may vary about which method is more beneficial in terms of advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creativity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
including entertaining activities a child enjoys, toddlers
in particular
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and develop their ingenuity better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
Lastly
, the age of the child determines it all.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1) v. 257 v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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