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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v.2

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 2
The global phenomenon of urbanisation from the beginning of industrialisation to the present day has brought opportunity and prosperity, albeit at a cost in the quality of life. With an increasing city population, the complexity of the challenges also increases, the causes and solutions for this are outlined below. The causes for the decrease in the quality of life are paradoxically the prosperity endowed on such metropolitan centres. Their growth is largely due to the increase of opportunities on offer, which in turn increases their attractiveness, essentially they are trapped in a positive self-reinforcing cycle. However, this eventually leads to a decrease in the quality of life as the city can experience overcrowding, exorbitant property prices, and increased vulnerability to terrorist attacks. For example the density of London makes it a more efficient place to attack, when compared to a smaller city such as Bradford. Therefore, due to continuous growth and prosperity, urban citizens, especially the less well off, often experience a lower standard of living. Considering the solutions, greater investment in public transport would ease traffic congestion, as would bike lanes. In theory this would reduce air pollution, and possibly improve the wellbeing of the population if they did adopt a more active lifestyle and cycle to work. To counter violent terrorist attacks, cities could embark on CCTV installations, so as to closely monitor for threats. For example, it is said, the CCTV in London has foiled many potential attacks, and therefore greatly increased the security of its citizens. To conclude, a wealthy city attracts a large population inflow, which then causes pressure on existing infrastructure and security. Various solutions exist to mitigate such drawbacks, nevertheless an indefinite solution has yet to be found.
The global phenomenon of
urbanisation
from the beginning of
industrialisation
to the present day has brought opportunity and prosperity, albeit at a cost in the quality of life. With an increasing city population, the complexity of the challenges
also
increases, the causes and
solutions
for this
are outlined
below.

The causes for the decrease in the quality of life are
paradoxically
the prosperity endowed on such metropolitan
centres
. Their growth is
largely
due to the increase of opportunities on offer, which in turn increases their attractiveness,
essentially
they
are trapped
in a
positive
self-reinforcing cycle.
However
, this
eventually
leads to a decrease in the quality of life as the city can experience overcrowding, exorbitant property prices, and increased vulnerability to terrorist
attacks
.
For example
the density of London
makes
it a more efficient place to
attack
, when compared to a smaller city such as Bradford.
Therefore
, due to continuous growth and prosperity, urban citizens,
especially
the less well off,
often
experience a lower standard of living.

Considering the
solutions
, greater investment in public transport would
ease
traffic congestion, as would bike lanes. In theory this would
reduce
air pollution, and
possibly
improve
the
wellbeing
of the population if they did adopt a more active lifestyle and cycle to work. To counter violent terrorist
attacks
,
cities
could embark on CCTV installations,
so as to
closely
monitor for threats.
For example
, it
is said
, the CCTV in London has foiled
many
potential
attacks
, and
therefore
greatly
increased the security of its citizens.

To conclude
, a wealthy city attracts a large population inflow, which then causes pressure on existing infrastructure and security. Various
solutions
exist to mitigate such drawbacks,
nevertheless
an indefinite
solution
has
yet
to
be found
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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