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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v.5

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 5
Some people argue that skills and creativity would improving by doing an enjoyable activity with a off-spring, others claim that reading would devlop those abilities. I completely disagree with playing with children will imorive the skills and creativity. Firstly, more relaxable activities with children good for mental, activity as well as help to be healty whole day. In other words, kids craziness activities and talking way makes people to forget the tention and stress, due to prevent from heart diseses and the blood presure. It would not help to think to innovative ideas, althuogh reading helps to think in different way in any critical situations. For example, Billgartes, who the world first rishest man, said that, "his innovative ideas and new way of thinks has been improving by reading books and newspapers". Thus, reading is the gateway for facing chellanges, and problem to survive the life. Another point to consider is that, reading books help to modify the language skills, such as vocabluary, pronountaion, and improve grammar. Becasue, books are wrote or translated by authours, who are good in their language. Therefore, reader could get more benfits by reading new type of similarity words and grammars. For Instance, Harry Potter book, which is one of the world popular book, makes people to read curious and help to improve English skills among all over the world. However, reading is most important to all age group. To sum up, using leisure time with kids help to improve the body health, but reading books help to develp the life style and knowledge in all age catagory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creativity would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "improve"
improving
by doing an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
off-spring, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
would
Possible spelling mistake found.
devlop
those abilities. I completely disagree with playing with children will
Possible spelling mistake found.
imorive
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creativity.

Firstly
, more
Possible spelling mistake found.
relaxable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for mental,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
healty
whole day.
In other words
, kids craziness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and talking way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to forget the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tention
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from heart
Possible spelling mistake found.
diseses
and the blood
Possible spelling mistake found.
presure
. It would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
althuogh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way in any critical situations.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Billgartes
, who the world
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
rishest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, said that,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
his innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and new way of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
has been improving by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and newspapers
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is the gateway for facing
Possible spelling mistake found.
chellanges
, and problem to survive the life.

Another point to consider is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to modify the language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
vocabluary
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pronountaion
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
grammar.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Becasue
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
Consider using a past participle here: "written".
wrote
or translated by
Possible spelling mistake found.
authours
, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in their language.
Therefore
, reader could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benfits
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
new type of similarity words and grammars.
For Instance
, Harry Potter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, which is one of the world popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to read curious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
among all over the world.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to all age group.

To sum up, using leisure time with kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the body health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
develp
the life style and knowledge in all age
Possible spelling mistake found.
catagory
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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