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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 277 v.32

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 277 v. 32
Some people argue that skills and creativity would improve by doing an enjoyable activity with an offspring, others claim that reading would develop those abilities. I completely disagree with playing with children will improve the skills and creativity. Firstly, more enjoyable activities with children, good for mental, activity as well as help to be healthy whole day. In other words, kids' craziness activities and talking way make people forget the tension and stress, due to prevent from heart diseases and the blood pressures. It would not help to think of innovative ideas, although reading helps to think in different way in any critical situations. For example, Billgartes, whom the world first richest man, said that, "his innovative ideas and new way of thinks has been improving by reading books and newspapers". Thus, reading is the gateway for facing challenges, and problem to survive the life. Another point to consider is that, reading books help to modify the language skills, such as vocabulary, pronunciation, and improve grammar. Because, books are written or translated by the authors, who are good in their language. Therefore, readers could get more benefits by reading new type of similar words and grammars. For Instance, Harry Potter book, which is one of the world popular books, makes people to read curious and help to improve English skills among all over the world. However, reading is most important for all age groups. To sum up, using leisure time with kids help to improve the body health, but reading books help to develp the life style and knowledge in all age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creativity would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
by doing an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with an offspring, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
would develop those abilities. I completely disagree with playing with children will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and creativity.

Firstly
, more enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for mental,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to be healthy whole day.
In other words
, kids' craziness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and talking way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
forget the tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from heart diseases and the blood pressures. It would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way in any critical situations.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Billgartes
, whom the world
first
richest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, said that,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
his innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and new way of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
has been improving by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and newspapers
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is the gateway for facing challenges, and problem to survive the life.

Another point to consider is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to modify the language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, such as vocabulary, pronunciation, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
grammar.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are written
or translated by the authors, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in their language.
Therefore
, readers could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more benefits by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
new type of similar words and grammars.
For Instance
, Harry Potter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, which is one of the world popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to read curious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
among all over the world.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all age groups.

To sum up, using leisure time with kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the body health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
develp
the life style and knowledge in all age
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 277 v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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