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Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.8

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8
It is often believed by some that the big companies and industries should be moved away from the urban areas and be established in the regional areas. In my opinion, this move will certainly have more advantages than disadvantages as discusses below in the essay. There are numerous advantages of moving corporate and production sectors into the country suburbs. To commence with, it will reduce the congestion in the cities, resulting in the improvement of the urban atmosphere, in terms of pollution and resource availability. For example, establishing industries in the suburbs will trigger the development of rural areas and will prevent the imbalance of people migrating to cities. The youth in villages would not migrate to mega cities if better job opportunities are available in their local areas. In addition, industries will get ample space in the countryside for the waste disposal, thereby keeping the environment green. Thus, having companies and industries in the rural areas is beneficial for the individuals as well as the society. In spite of the various merits of the movement of production and service sectors to the countryside, there are also a few disadvantages of it. Firstly, it will lead to unemployment in cities due to limited jobs in the urban areas. For instance, with the shifting of the companies from the metro-cities, the number of job openings in the urban centers will decline. Moreover, some industries may face revenue loss due to a delay in the availability of the raw materials for the production. In conclusion, the shifting of large companies and industries towards rural areas would have a positive impact on the whole society by developing the countryside and at the same time reducing the burden of the cities. Though it owns certain disadvantages of profit loss to some industrialists and scarcity of employment opportunities in the urban areas; however, this small loss is worth the gains it offers.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
be established
in the regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In my opinion, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
will
certainly
have more advantages than disadvantages as discusses below in the essay.

There are numerous advantages of moving corporate and production sectors into the country suburbs. To commence with, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the congestion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, resulting in the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
atmosphere, in terms of pollution and resource availability.
For example
, establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in the suburbs will trigger the development of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the imbalance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The youth in villages would not migrate to mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
if better job opportunities are available in their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ample space in the countryside for the waste disposal, thereby keeping the environment green.
Thus
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is beneficial for the individuals
as well
as the society.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the various merits of the movement of production and service sectors to the countryside, there are
also
a few disadvantages of it.
Firstly
, it will lead to unemployment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to limited jobs in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, with the shifting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
from the metro-cities, the number of job openings in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
centers will decline.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
may face revenue loss due to a delay in the availability of the raw materials for the production.

In conclusion
, the shifting of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
towards rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact
on the whole
society by developing the countryside and at the same time reducing the burden of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Though it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
certain disadvantages of profit loss to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industrialists and scarcity of employment opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
;
however
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
loss is worth the gains it offers.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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